+ Katy Perry’s on the cover of August’s Cosmopolitan looking not as fruity as one might expect. It’s a nice change from the over-the-top craziness we normally see. (I’m Not Obsessed)

+ O.M.J. Kevin Jonas engaged? WHAT?? (Buzzworthy)

+ Speaking of the Jonas Brothers, did you know that they’re probably not going back to a certain U.K. hotel after trashing their room? Seriously! (Webster’s Is My Bitch)

+ How about this mash-up of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” and Britney Spears‘ “Gimme More?” We think it’s kind of hot! (PopBytes)

+ Speaking of MJ, check out this vid of him rehearsing at the Staples Center just two days before he passed away. Seems like he really was going to pull off that comeback after all. (US Magazine)

+ Oh. Happy 30th Birthday to the Sony Walkman (for any of you kids who actually had one). I remember my yellow Sportsman like it was yesterday. It had “shock control” too, so that when you went jogging the Tiffany you were listening to didn’t sound like Ethel Merman (though there was really nothing you could do about Cher). (Tripwire)

+ A brand-new Britney Spears video, “Radar” leaked online today. One word: boring. (MTV News)

+ On the trashy TV front, Hilary Duff gets to exercise her acting chops once again as she joins the cast of Gossip Girl for the October season premiere. (EW.com)

+ Congratulations to the Photoshop genius behind Madonna’s new Louis Vuitton ad campaign for making her look like the Svedka robot (or just herself 30 years ago, made out of marzipan). (PopCrunch)

+ Check out what a bunch of Warped Tour bands had to say as they reflect on the influence Michael Jackson had on their music. (Buzznet)

+ Demi Lovato took quite a spill onstage during a recent concert but got up and laughed it off like a true pro. (Blogamole)

+ Former Destiny’s Child member LeToya Luckett had nothing but nice things to say about Beyonce, when the two ran into each other at the BET Awards this past week. (Rap-Up)

You better twurk that eyeshadow, Tina Parol — and your friends are on the money for referring to you as “Miss Rainbow Brite.” (Hey, it was in her bio.) I’m trying to postpone sensory overload with this Betsey Johnson-loving funk you’ve got going on, because you’ve got serious cred as a songwriter for a girl your age … Wait, what did you say about pink cheetah print?

Anyway, New York songwriter Tina Parol (as in the term for “recently released from prison so you’d better stay on your best behavior”) chats about her musical credentials in a brand-new  “The Five“ interview — which you should check out below — as well as her debut album, Shrinking Violet, due in September. It’s so fitting this girl’s last name is “Parol,” by the way: Tina’s first single, “Who’s Got Your Money,” is all about the sweet revenge of stealing the ex-boyfriend’s credit card and social security number… we all know how that goes. I’m sure that bastard had it coming; look how cute our Rainbow Brite is!

So, like I was saying, Tina’s a songwriter by trade and even wrote “Rock Boy,” the B-side to Britney Spears‘ “If U Seek Amy.” (Not bad for the ol’ resume.) But I’m thinking Tina may have a knack for break-up anthems, because “Who’s Got Your Money” is an Avril-level, let’s-slash-his-tires anthem. The lyrics are plain lovable (can you go wrong with, “He broke your heart girl / Go get that money!”?), and Tina’s formidable voice and playful lilts make the whole package ultra catchy.

+ On the heels of gay pride here in NYC, new photos show Mariah Carey getting all tranny (and by tranny we mean Drag KING, not queen) in her new video for “Obsessed,” the first single off her forthcoming album. She looks bad, people. Not gonna lie… (Cele|bitchy)

+ At a tropical resort far, far away, Amy Winehouse is rounding up all the stray dogs she can find and bringing them back to her hotel room. Does anyone have PETA’s number handy? (Holy Moly!)

+ Kellie Pickler and Kid Rock dating? Please, no! So gross. (Pop On The Pop)

+ You just HAVE to see Lady Gaga’s new ‘do. It is so utterly and ridiculously STUPID it can only be Lady Gaga. Is it art? No. It’s just Gaga. (ICYDK)

+ What the EFF has Debbie Gibson looking so good these days??? Evidently she’s returning to the music scene after a 20-year absence… (Hollywoodtuna)

+ P.S. have you seen the new HUGE ring and brand-new brown hair Britney is sporting? And this time it’s not even a wig (remember the Allure magazine photo shoot? I do. Because it’s taped to the wall of my cube). (PopSugar)

+ At last night’s BET Awards, Janet Jackson gave a heart-wrenching, emotional tribute to her late brother Michael: “On behalf of my family and myself, thank you for all of your love, thank you for all of your support. We miss him so much. Thank you so much.” (MTV News)

+ Michael Jackson had rehearsed in L.A. for his tour the night before his untimely death. Now, video footage of that tour rehearsal may be released as a live CD/ DVD. (MTV News)

+ The Jonas Brothers expressed their condolences to Michael Jackson’s family via Twitter, saying “Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family of a music hero. R.I.P. Michael Jackson. You have and always will be an inspiration.” (Jonas Brothers’ Twitter)

+ … While President Obama sent private condolences to the Jackson family. (Rolling Stone)

+ It looks like, for right now, Michael Jackson’s mother will have custody of his three children. (LA Times)

+ Is Michael Jackson’s death bringing back magazines? (Huffington Post)

+ Uh, seriously? Do people really have NOTHING better to do than hack into Britney Spears‘ Twitpic and pretend she died? (MTV News)

+ If you weren’t dancing to old-school Michael Jackson classics or emoting to “Man In The Mirror,” were at Warped Tour? (SF Weekly)

+ Jamie Foxx dressed like Michael at the BET Awards: Too soon?

+ In the wake of the recent alleged assault on Perez Hilton by Will.i.am’s manager, celebrities around the country have been offering their two cents. Check out what Kelly Clarkson had to say. We tend to agree with her. (Agent Bedhead)

+ On that note, Perez Hilton’s lawyer is not taking the situation lightly, threatening to sue anyone who would intend to assault his client in the future. (The Hollywood Reporter)

+The Jonas Brothers have the top album in the country this week, moving over 247,000 copies of their brand-new album Lines, Vines, & Trying Times. WAY TO BE, JoBros!

+ Want some Bonus Jonas? Check out some hot photos from their Rolling Stone cover shoot. (Rolling Stone)

+ Our girl Britney Spears has been doing a little unwinding in L.A. while taking a break from the European leg of her Circus tour. (Star Magazine)

+ More “questionable” pics of Miley Cyrus have hit Twitter, though we’re not sure what all the fuss is about. Can’t a girl take a picture without people getting all bent out of shape? (Celebitchy)

+ Exciting news about Madonna that has nothing to do with adoption and nannies! The Queen of Pop will be teaming up with none other than Paul Oakenfold for the U.K. and European legs of her “Sticky & Sweet” tour, as well as some new tracks on her September 2009 greatest hits album that will consist of “cutting edge sounds combined with classic Madonna.”

+ Cher is finally speaking out about her daughter Chastity Bono’s decision to transition from female to male. She seems to be pretty cool about the whole thing. OMG my mom would ground me for at LEAST three weeks. (Star Magazine)

+ After Whitney Houston turned down the part, rapper Eve has signed up for a two-episode story arc on the upcoming FOX series GLEE as a high school choir director. (EW.com)

+ Ooh! A new video from Ciara f. Missy Elliott where Ciara turns a construction site into a catwalk? We’ll take two. (Rap-Up)

+ Geography is HARD y’all!  Britney Spears slipped up and said “What’s up, London?!”at the only concert she did in the U.K. 200 miles outside of London (the show was in Manchester). Let’s just say the fans were not amused. (CelebWarship)

+ Meanwhile, back in an Arkansas prison, T.I.’s got a rill RILL bad case of the squirts. (Bossip)

+ Plastic surgery postergirl Courtney Love is in the studio recording her second solo album with the help of a few of her friends. Does she even remember how to sing? Celebrity Skin was a good Hole album, but we stopped listening right after her lips started looking like Lisa Rinna’s. (NME)

+ At last night’s CMT Awards, neighborhood sweetheart Taylor Swift took home the coveted Video of the Year award (along with Female Video of the Year) alongside rapper T—Pain (??) for their song “Love Story.” Does this girl lose at anything?? We love her! (People)

+ If you’re looking for a big break into the heavy metal music video industry, look no further! Glam rock hair band Steel Panther is holding auditions this weekend for their next video, “Community Property.” (The Rad Report)

+ Third time’s a charm—just ask our leading lady Britney Spears. Is she REALLY getting married to her agent? (Star Magazine)

+ Uh oh.  Nelly Furtado and Timbaland are getting sued by a guy who says their song “Do It” steals directly from a song he had already written. Why did it take the guy three years to figure it out?? (NME)

+ New Kids On The Block just cancelled the Australian leg of their world tour, blaming the economic downturn. OK, so maybe Janet Jackson wasn’t lying when she said the same thing. (E! Online)

+ Finally, we get some confirmation from the people who change Britney Spears‘ batteries each day that yes, she IS dating her agent Jason Trawick (much to her daddy’s delight, because the guy also happens to be one of her brother Bryan’s best buds). Between numerous tour dates in Europe, dates with Jason, (play)dates with her kids, and U.S. tour dates just added, poor Brit Brit should be so GRATEFUL that she has all these people in her life! She’s a fuggin’ ROOMBA without a tray to empty!! <beep bop boo bop> (People)

+ Speaking of blondes with doting daddies, Jessica Simpson roamed around NYC last night with her chicken cutlets pressed up into her chin for no apparent reason. (What Would Tyler Durden Do)

+ It’s just boobs and babes today at Buzzworthy!!! AaaaHOOOOOOga! Former Spice Girl and footballer’s wife Victoria Beckham was spotted in London superbly shipshape, with nary a nippenstruden left to the imagination. Thanks Tore! (Agent Bedhead)

+ We’re not sure how we feel about this, but fashion-forward Kanye West (after cooing about how amazing she is) announced that he’s going on tour with Lady Gaga (no opener, just two performers side by side). Personally, we think HE should be opening for HER! (MTV News)

+ Also, while vacationing in Hawaii, it looks like Lady Gaga was fishin’ for shrimp and caught one — by the name of “Speedy.” Jay kay — it’s her longtime boyfriend. Not kidding about his name being “Speedy” (wonder if he is insecure about her beasti– bisexuality). Oh - and she’s not. wearing. ANY. makeup. so prep yourself for that. (Daily Mail)

+ We told you yesterday about Miley Cyrus twisting into a Twitter tizzy about Nick Jonas and her boyfriend Justin Gaston breaking up. But that’s not all! She’s puttin’ her foot down and screamin’ to news outlets everywheres! Her Tweets are “not news people!” (Twitter)

+ And here’s those crazy kids bein’ all cutesy wutesy tootsey on the set of “Before The Storm,” the song that the Jonas Brothers wrote and she and Nick Jonas recorded together (again, yesterday’s news but we GOTTA KEEP YOU UPDATED!!!). (Socialite Life)

+ Um, apparently YES. People really STILL ARE talking about that little-noticed time Britney shaved her head back in February 2007 and the events that led up to her not-exactly-on-point performance at the 2007 VMAs. A new book called Britney: Inside The Dream (out June 11, 2009), by Steve Dennis, claims to have the REAL-DEAL HOLYFIELD on what REALLY happened to Brits. Read an excerpt at The Mirror. If you didn’t already read it in the February 2008 issue of Rolling Stone. (The Mirror)

+ For the LAST time. YES, Eminem was IN on Brüno’s butt… I mean the butt of the joke. I mean he was in on the joke at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards. Eminem said he went back to his hotel and watched the rest of the show from there. And laughed. (MTV News)

+ The family that Twitters together… tours together! Yesterday, on his Twitter, Trace Cyrus announced that Metro Station’s going to be opening up for Miley on her upcoming tour. Cuteness! (Trace Cyrus’ Twitter)

+ Eff what you know. The REAL verse of Kanye West’s new “Paranoid” video, featuring Rihanna, is ready. (Just Jared)

+ Brokencyde, you’re still terrible. DON’T bring chocolate milk into this! (Idolator)

+ Beyonce has less money than Madonna but more than Steven Spielberg. Specifically, she’s worth $87 million. Meanwhile, I don’t even have, like $87. (Forbes)

+ Whitney Houston will release her first album in seven years this September. The album doesn’t have a title yet, but we’ve got a few ideas, starting with “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay.” (Whitney Houston)

+ Speaking of Whitney Houston, freaking BOBBY BROWN had another baby. A real, actual human child baby! Can you EVEN? (E!)