+ After winning three awards, not flubbing her lines and looking beyond gawgeous, Britney Spears is already being hailed as the 2008 VMAs' official "comeback kid." Which explains the three shiny silver Moonmen and pageant-worthy smile. (MTV)

+ Needless to say, over-the-top VMAs host Russell Brand enthusiastically agreed. "Consider this the resurrection of Britney Spears," he told reporters. "If there was a female Christ, it's Britney." What's more, Brand predicts this is just the beginning. "This could be the dawning of a new age for America," he mused. (MTV)

+ Meanwhile, Brand's big mouth got him into some trouble when he poked fun at the Jonas Brothers' chastity rings, prompting celebs to take sides. Natch, we already know where Jordin Sparks stands. But now? Paris Hilton surprises us by affirming she's Team Purity, all the way. GO JO! (MTV)

+ And now onto the fashion! Find out how Rihanna, Lindsay and Lauren Conrad stood out from the crowd plus read our VMAs Red Carpet Rewind to catch up on this year's hot new trends. (MTV)

+ Speaking of The Hills gals, LC and Audrina Patridge were all smiles at the official VMAs afterparty -- never mind the dramatic mascara-dripping showdown you saw on last night's episode. (MTV)

+ 'Course, that doesn't mean Audrina has to understand LC's appreciation for all things Kid Rock. (MTV)

+ Meanwhile, Good Charlotte held court at the In Touch Idols and Icons afterparty, while Samantha Ronson deejayed, Lindsay supervised and Mischa Barton fended off unwanted advances. (E! Online)

+ Plus, here's a few things you didn't see on the red carpet pre-show. Like the fact that nobody knows how to make an entrance like T-Pain. Nobody. (MTV)

+ And Kanye West explains why he gave the VMAs another chance. (MTV)

+ Underage driver Miley Cyrus gets (herself) an early Sweet 16 present. (Scandalist)

+ It's the end of the world ... and the All-American Rejects know it. (Rolling Stone)

+ You know you're Katy Perry when you have to actually TRY to not be sexy. (MTV)

+ Pepa (of Salt-N-Pepa fame) has just written her memoirs! Word has it, they just might make you wanna shoop. (BWE)

+ Slipknot beats out The Game on the latest Billboard 200 album chart. Weirdest rivalry ever? (Billboard)

+ New Kids on the Block are still refusing to fade into pop culture obscurity. (Idolator)

+ Fashion experts explain how to rock the VMAs red carpet without looking like something the cat -- or worse, Lil' Kim! -- dragged in. (MTV)

+ The Jonas Brothers rock out in street meat-inspired clothes, set themselves up for a litany of "Hey! Nice buns!" jokes. (Jonas Updates)

+ Meanwhile, Taylor Swift appears to have come down with a nasty case of Jonas fever. (MTV)

+ Coldplay announces plans to release a Viva la Vida leftovers album! (Rolling Stone)

+ Weirdest couple ever alert! Pamela Anderson and...Michael Jackson?? (Scandalist)

+ Remember those "This is your brain on drugs" commercials? Amy Winehouse doesn't! (NY Daily News)

+ New Kids on the Block swear their comeback tour will have all the right stuff. (Billboard)

+ Should Britney get a VMAs do-over? We say: Absolutely! And Perez Hilton totally agrees! Except he has a few pointers for the recovering pop star. "Have the hair looking good, wear something that fits [and] don't be allegedly drunk before you're onstage." (MTV)

+ Happy bday, MJ! The man behind "Billy Jean," "Beat It" and "The Way You Make Me Feel" turns half a century old today! Or half a century young, if you're feeling optimistic. (Scandalist)

+ And in honor of the birthday boy, here's a photo flipbook spanning Jacko's three-decade-long musical career. (Rolling Stone)

+ Meanwhile, Faith Hill and Jessica Simpson make EW's Top 20 Worst Cover Songs Ever list. (The Boot)

+ Breaking: Miley Cyrus' "7 Things" is about Nick Jonas! Probably! (MTV)

+ Which still doesn't explain why Tim Gunn just described her as "too tarty." (NYP)

+ Kid Rock's latest album continues to blow up! "Suck it, iTunes!" he says. (Billboard)

+ Remember that guy who leaked nine sorta sucky songs from Guns N' Roses' new album? Turns out he could be in for some serious jail time! (Idolator)

+ Fat Joe calls Daddy Yankee a sellout for supporting John McCain and his mysterious female/Alaskan running mate. (MTV)

+ Trust us, you do not want to mess with Solange Knowles before she's had her morning coffee. (The Hip Hop Chronicle)

+ It's official: Usher has the best abs in the business. WE KNEW IT! (Black Voices)

+ T-Pain is accused of ruining gospel music. (MTV)

+ Axl Rose is courting Kelly Osbourne the only way he knows how. (Scandalist)

+ Chris Brown is serious about voting for Barack Obama. Dead serious... (Best Week Ever)

+ Are the Jonas Brothers growing up?? Because we were kinda hoping they'd stay EXACTLY THE WAY THEY ARE for the rest of our lives. Or at least till we're, like, 30.  (MTV)

+ Fountains of Wayne frontman Adam Shlesinger to write for The Colbert Report. (Stereogum)

+ T.I.'s "Whatever You Like" is already living up to its name. (Billboard)

+ Oasis inspires Metallica's Lars Ulrich to give up cocaine. (NME)

+ Hilary Duff's dad to spend 10 days in jail for refusing to pay for his daughter's bday party. Worst. Birthday. Ever. (Yahoo!)

+ Jordin Sparks admits she used to have a thing for American Idol judge Simon Cowell. "I did have a crush on Simon before going on the show," she confesses. Then, presumably, she met him and immediately came to her senses. (ICYDK)

+ Barack Obama has reportedly picked Jennifer Hudson to sing the national anthem before his DNC acceptance speech. (Entertainment Weekly)

+ Jo Bros fend off Kid Rock, hold onto the album charts' top spot a little bit longer. (MTV)

+ The juicy story behind Kelly Osbourne's black eye? A wayward kitchen cabinet fell on her face. But hey, you should see the other guy! (Starpulse)

+ Lil Wayne misses a court appearance due to an emergency orthodontic-related mishap. (TMZ)

+ Meanwhile, DMX does show up to court, and manages to get himself a plea bargain ... despite dropping the F-bomb. (MTV)

+ Tropical Storm Gustav (not to be confused with Tokio Hotel drummer Gustav Schafer) continues to wreak havoc near the coast of Mexico. Dios mio/ Oh mein gotte! (MarketWatch)

+ Madonna has reportedly ditched her custom-built $24 million fitness center after receiving one too many "wolf whistles" from local construction workers. (E! Online)

+ The Veronicas' Jess Origliasso refuses to discuss Kevin Jonas' undeniable hotness, though she openly admits to worshiping The Jonas Brothers' song, "Australia." (Neon Limelight)

+ Paula Abdul couldn't be more excited about the new American Idol judge! Yep, nothing a former superstar enjoys more than sharing the spotlight with a younger gal. (MTV)

+ The Hills' Heidi Montag is "Overdosin'" on '80s aerobic gear in her new, super-slow-mo music video. (Usmagazine.com)

+ In the span of a single week, the guys from Fall Out Boy have rocked the Democratic convention, dropped a new compilation CD, and revealed that their upcoming album will be released on election day. (MTV, Friends or Enemies)

+ Hurry, check out these Yo La Tengo performance pics! Quick, before Brooklyn's McCarren Park Pool becomes a (gulp!) pool again. (The Tripwire)

+ Sad news: Dr Dre's 20-year-old son died in his sleep last weekend. (MTV)

+ At last night's Democratic Convention, Sheryl Crow dedicated her song "Strong Enough" Barack Obama, then asked the White House hopeful: "Are you strong enough to be my man ... or my president?" (Billboard)

+ And speaking of Barack's celebrity fanbase, he couldn't ask for a more outspoken supporter than Madonna. He also couldn't ask for a worse lobbyist. (NY Times)

+ Meanwhile, is Rage Against the Machine's Zack de la Rocha planning to "hijack" the Republican Convention? (That's soooo 2000 VMAs!) (NME)

+ Robin Thicke and Mary J. Blige are touring to promote their new albums. Also weird? One of them has a new album called Growing Pains ... and it's NOT Robin "Son of Alan" Thicke. (Reuters)

+ T.I. has a message for whoever leaked his new track, "Swagger Like Us," onto the Internet. "Don't ruin the event," he says. "Wait till the cake comes out the kitchen before you eat it. That's like a kid who sees his toys before Christmas; it takes away from me [and] it takes away from the fans." (MTV)

+ Taylor Swift has a windblown, Mariah-thing happening on the cover of her new LP, Fearless. (The Boot)

+ Chamillionaire puts himself in his fans' shoes. "I did a rap like I'm the person sitting at the computer typing," he says. "It's some little kid that's on the Internet ... His mother comes in and asks him, 'Did you take your medication? Are you on those porno sites again?' I'm rapping like I'm him in his voice." (MTV)

+ Gwen Stefani and hubby Gavin Rossdale have given birth to their second son! And instead of naming him something moderately unusual (like "Kingston") they've guaranteed the child a life of normalcy by christening him "Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale." (MTV)

+ Why Pink's latest overshare could be her next big hit. (Idolator)

+ Mindless Self Indulgence frontman Jimmy Urine does his best Coldplay/Chris Martin impression. (NME)

+ Here's a look at the (hypothetical) texts being exchanged by Carrie Underwood and Tony Romo...and intercepted by Jessica Simpson. (PopEater)

+ The new collaboration by Big Boi and Mary J. Blige is about real issues plaguing America. Hence the superfluous American flag. (The Boombox)

+ Bad news, boys. Karina Pasian's new album, First Love, has absolutely nothing to do with you. (MTV Tr3s)

+ We're in the midst of a musical revolution! At least, according to The Academy Is... (Rolling Stone)

+ John Legend reminisces about the days when Kanye was opening for him. (MTV)

+ Rumor has it Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake (remember that hair??) are "making beautiful music together" again. By which, of course, we mean "dueting," people. God. Stop living in the past! (NY Post)

+ Miley Cyrus likes you so much she's willing to invite you to her Super Sweet 16! For $250... (Just Jared)

+ Jessica Simpson dismisses recent reports that her beau (hottie QB Tony Romo) has been phoning his ex, Carrie Underwood. And how does she know this? "I've been going through his call logs." Yep, healthiest relationship ever. (Usmagazine.com)

+ Pink totally isn't dissing her ex-hubby, Carey Hart, in her new song, "So What." That part where she calls him a "tool?" It's because she "harts" him! Or, as Pink explains it, "[It's] a 'screw you' anthem with so much love attached." (OMG! Yahoo!)

+ Is Jermaine Dupri being ousted from Def Jam? (Idolator)

+ Not only do the Jonas Brothers have a #1 album... they also have two LP's in the top 10! Buoyed by their recent success, their last album, Jonas Brothers, has climbed its way back to #10. OMJ! (Yahoo!)

+ Whoever said there are only six categories of songs has clearly never heard of Girl Talk. (Very Short List)

+ Idol runner-up David Archuleta gives Rihanna some competition on the singles chart. (Billboard)