Fabolous has a new video out. It's called "Everything, Everyday, Everywhere," it's from his much-Tweeted-about new album Loso's Way, and it features Keri Hilson and Ryan Leslie. Oh yeah: and it's boring. I mean, NOTHING HAPPENS.  The most excited I got was during the line "Somebody better tell 'em that we in this b+tch like an unborn baby" and at the gratuitous shot of Rick Ross' beard, but shots of Rick Ross' beard are like a dime a dozen.

The video takes place in a club. A club where NOTHING HAPPENS. No one even spills a drink. The opening quote about paparazzi at the beginning of the video suggests there might be some kind of high-speed chase or at least a theme or story arc. But no. Nothing. Happens. At all. If you want a continuous story arc, watch Fabolous' "Throw It In The Bag." No story here though. In fact, it kinda looks like it was shot on someone's cell phone. I'm sorry. I'm just being reasonable and honest with you. Like my last relationship, "Everything, Everday, Everywhere" goes nowhere and leaves me confused. Plus I'm annoyed with Fabolous because it should be "Every Day," not "Everyday."

Oh yeah, that is NOT Chris Brown in the video, okay? Chris Brown is BASKING in the unintentional success of the "Forever" wedding dance, okay? That is Trey Songz.

Okay. If you strictly only have like FOUR MINUTES to watch ONE video today, I'd say watch the "Young'n" video. Or Shakira's "She Wolf" video. Or watch "Everything, Everyday, Everywhere," and tell me if I'm missing the point. (Is there a point?)

Fabolous just released his latest video, "Throw It In The Bag," off his soon-to-be-released comeback album, Loso's Way. The "Throw It In The Bag" video features Fabolous and a foxy female with a flair for the five-fingered discount. Here are five fast facts you need to know about "Throw It In The Bag." (And shoplifting.)

1.) The lawbreaking female lead in "Throw It In The Bag" is model/ actress Claudia Jordan from Deal or No Deal -- she usually holds briefcase 1 -- and Celebrity Apprentice season 2.

2.) The-Dream sings the hook. Clearly. And he also appears in the video. (Side note: Is The-Dream to 2009 was T-Pain was to 2008?)

3.) The-Dream's girlfriend, Christian Milian, was on the set of the "Throw It In The Bag" shoot, as was Ryan Leslie.

4.) "Throw It In The Bag" was directed by Erik White, who also directed Keri Hilson's "Turnin' Me On" video and a handful of Chris Brown videos. But we won't hold that against him.

5.) "Throw It In The Bag" was shot in the Meatpacking District of New York City. In New York, if you get busted for shoplifting, you can get nailed with Petite Larceny and Criminal Possession of Stolen Property in the Fifth Degree, which are both class "A" misdemeanors, punishable by up to one year in jail. (In the video, Fabolous' girl only appears to spend a few hours in jail and still leaves looking hot.) If the stolen goods retail for more than $1000 (and they probably were well over $1000 in the Meatpacking District), the charges can be Grand Larceny and Criminal Possession of Stolen Property In the Fourth Degree -- felonies punishable by up to four years in prison. Know that.

More stealing-related videos:
+ Jane's Addiction: "Been Caught Stealin'"
+ Len: "Steal My Sunshine"
+ Kelly Rowland: "Stole"
+ Dashboard Confessional: "Stolen"

[Photo Credit: Gregg Delman]

The-Dream's got friends in high places. His "Rockin That Thang" remix just dropped and it's stacked with names -- Rick Ross, Ludacris, Fabolous, Juelz Santana and DJ Khaled -- pretty much a who's who of hip-hop right now. You could call it The- Dream Team and be right in more than one way.

If the cover-shoot-based layout of the Parris (Ludacris, Swizz Beats, Busta Rhymes) -directed video looks familiar, it's probably because a) you've read a magazine before, and b) it's more or less what Kanye and Jamie Foxx did on "Gold Digger." I guess there's also an outside chance that c) one of those many fly girls is your sister or best friend or tutor.

Anyway, when you got an all-star list of collaborators, hopefully you come out with some showstopper rhymes. Here are a few stand-outs:

Fabolous: "Can I call you Nana 'cause you got that rockin' chair?"

Juelz Santana: "Treat you like the first lady, I'll put my Barack in ya!"

Ludacris: "I'm ready to take the Milky Way to your Hershey's Kiss."

Dirty! I'm sure they mean all that literally, and wholesomely. Wholesome like Buzzworthy. Watch that video now.

We see you, Maino. And we see a significantly higher production value than the original "Hi Hater" video, which truly looked like it was shot on someone's Razr.

And we also see you, T.I., and you, Fabolous, and Swizz Beatz (killed it!), you, Jadakiss, and Mya, lookin' all relaxed and comfy and stuff. Welcome back, girl! Seriously, this is by far my favorite Mya collabo since "Ghetto Superstar."

Watch Maino's "Hi Hater Remix" video -- you get far more gratuitous pec shots on Maino's behalf. Looks like someone's been hittin' the Bowflex!

And speaking of "Ghetto Superstar," check out this old-school TRL clip from 1998 and marvel over how much Maino looks like Old Dirty Bastard (R.I.P!):

VMA party weekend officially kicked started Friday night with Jermaine Dupri's party at the Avalon in Hollywood. JD -- ever the consummate mogul and multitasker -- celebrated the launch of Tag Records, and, of course, the VMAs.

With D-Nice spinning -- "Put On," by Young Jeezy and Kanye West, T-Pain and Lil' Wayne's "Can't Believe It," and Game and 50 Cent's "This is How We Do," all were huge for the dance floor -- D stood at the booth hyping up the party. Nice played the remix to Dru Hill's "Sleeping in My Bed," while Dupri shouted, "Brat I love you!"

"Yes Janet Jackson is here," JD told some ladies on the dance floor. "Y'all can stop asking me now."

Back in the crowd, you could spot Paul Wall mingling while the likes of Jazze Pha and Polow Da Don chilled in the V.I.P. section.

Later, Tag Records lead artist Q performed, as did Fabolous. Loso hit the crowd with "Breathe" and "You Make Me Better."

+ Watch Jermaine dispense some VMA advice for Britney's big appearance, (which is barely 24 hours from now!)

Stay up-to-date on everything about the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards at vma.mtv.com, and don’t miss the big show Sunday (September 7) at 9 p.m. ET/PT or the pre-show red carpet coverage that starts at 8 p.m. ET/PT.

We'll admit it: We slept all day yesterday. Didn't take a shower until dinner, and for that, we ate some toast before going back to bed, where we found we'd been using Perez Hilton's velvet jacket as a pillow. Hey, if you spent your New Year's Eve drinking in Tila Tequila's New Year's Eve Masquerade 2008, you'd have done the same.

And perhaps you did. Maybe you celebrated in your own way and it put you in bed sometime around sunrise and you didn't bother to do anything but watch bowl games during the part of the day you managed to be conscious. We understand.

But today we're back in action and trying to reconstruct all of the details. Luckily, our party was recorded and is available for viewing on demand anytime, and we're really glad for that, cuz a lot of it is really fuzzy in our collective brain. Turns out that Paramore was as great as we remembered they were. And Fabolous was fabulous. Plus, Kid Rock brought down the house, the buzz on Flo Rida is worth it, Good Charlotte still has it, Boys Like Girls are a helluva lot of fun and The Bravery rock.

You can check out all kids of video and photo highlights of Tila's Times Square MTV throwdown over on MTV.com. And below you can watch Paramore's performance of "Crush Crush Crush."

Meanwhile, we'll be napping for a good part of today. Seems that we're not quite fully recovered -- and we can't remember what happened with us and Perez. Maybe it's better that stays lost in the night.