Today's news that Jeff Archuleta -- father of Buzzworthy idol David Archuleta -- was arrested for soliciting a sex act at a not-really-focused-on-relieving-your-back-pain massage parlor was nothing short of completely shocking and extremely sad. We're extremely protective of our little Arch Angel and wish him lots of love and... whatever else you wish a person when they (and the whole world) find out that their Mormon dad got busted for a happy ending. By the cops.

With that, here are five more celebrity dads who will absolutely give me another heart attack if I find out they went to an "unlicensed spa."

KEVIN JONAS, SR.
Paul Kevin Jonas, Sr., father of Kevin, Joe, Nick, and Frankie is a former pastor and manages his sons' career (they're in a band called "the Jonas Brothers") which is a full-time job. Also, I've met the man, and he's a saint. I JUST KNOW in my happy little heart that Kevin Jonas, Sr. is just not capable of such indiscretions. It's just impossible.

BILLY RAY CYRUS
Miley's "Thrill Billy" daddy does have the whole out-of-wedlock thing on his side (come on! it was the free-wheelin' '90s!), and then there was the Vanity Fair/ almost-naked pix thing, but he's still a true family man who's biggest crime, in my opinion, is the highlights.

PETE WENTZ
Pete Wentz already aired all of his dirty laundry (and more!) before he settled down with Ashlee Simpson, who cranked out super-cuters Bronx. And even though he's hung with the occasional stripper, he's got a totally hot piece at home. Plus, they're one of those couples who sorta looks like they do it all the time. VIVA LA SIMPSON-WENTZES!

CLAY AIKEN
Clay Aiken is far too busy... wait, what's Clay Aiken doing these days? Oh, going to the airport! Anyway, yay! He has a cute baby! Yay!

CHARLIE SWAN
BELLA'S DAD commit a crime? PUH-LEASE! What crime could the CHIEF OF POLICE OF FORKS possibly commit? I mean, sure, he's sometimes a little emotionally unavailable, and he can't cook to save his life, and true, he's still a bit hung up on his ex-wife, but you CANNOT say that  Charlie Swan doesn't love his daughter. Probably the only crime Charlie Swan is guilty of is BEING BORN A HUMAN.

+ Now, speaking of fathers and crimes, watch George Michael's "Father Figure" video.

You already know that the new year means new hair for Tokio Hotel's Bill Kaulitz! And I know some of you miss the lion's mane/ Sonic the Hedgehog 'do, but first of all, it's probably not so ocean-friendly. Plus, embrace the change!

So, one of the best things about Bill's new twin power dreads is that from afar, they look like pony beads!! And I am WHOLLY CONVINCED (in my mind, where I do all of my best convincing) that Bill is feeling on that Stevie Wonder circa 1980 tip and has been listening to Hotter Than July on repeat.

Now go listen to "Master Blaster" until your mind melts out of your ears, and check out this pretty/odd pairing of Stevie and George Michael from all the way back in the dark ages of 1997.

(Credit: Gregg Delman)

True confession time: I haven't paid a ton of attention to Brandy since the "The Boy Is Mine" -- her 1998 dueling duet with Monica. And allow me to tangent for a second and declare that aside from Elton John and George Michael's "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me," Warren G and Nate Dogg's "Regulate," and Mariah Carey and Jay-Z's "Heartbreaker," "The Boy Is Mine" is one of the finest duets of the 1990s.

Anyway, shame on me for sleeping on Brandy, because she's hilarious, has a passion for Skittles akin to that of Tokio Hotel's most hardcore fans, and is as addicted to "World of Warcraft" as your ex-boyfriend. For realsies.

Watch this exclusive MTV interview with Brandy to find out more about her upcoming album, Human, out December 9, check out some brand-new photos of the model-turned-singer-turned-gamer -- and watch her latest video, "Right Here (Departed)," after the jump.

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+ Although Travis Barker and DJ AM sustained significant second and third-degree burns from Friday night's plane crash, both are slated to make full recoveries. Hospital officials delivered the good news at a press conference held yesterday, adding that the two men are currently in "critical but stable" condition. (MTV)

+ Meanwhile, famous pals like Fall Out Boy, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson want AM, Barker and their fellow crash victims to know their thoughts and prayers are with them. (MTV)

+ Radiohead is challenging fans to remix "Reckoner" from their latest album In Rainbows. Let the games begin! (Radionhead Remix)

+ George Michael reenacts his infamous lavatory arrest! This time, the bathroom bandit (who was once slammed for soliciting stall-sex from an undercover officer) was nabbed on more boring charges of drug possession. (Scandalist)

+ Is Pharrell Williams the next Jerry Seinfeld?? (MTV - UK)

+ What do Metallica and Run DMC have in common? Not much, other than both might be headed for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. (Rolling Stone)

+ For those of you who (wisely!) missed the 2008 Emmy Awards, here's the 3-minute recap. (Best Week Ever)

+ It's Ashanti, like you never heard her before ... literally! (Billboard)

Ever wondered what would happen if Jamiroquai, George Michael and Justin Timberlake suddenly morphed into one super-human? You'd probably get a multi-talented singer-songwriter with an affinity for smartly tailored three-piece suits and a soft spot for disco beats.

In other words, magic.

No, really, "Magic" -- the insanely irresistible new video by Robin Thicke, (a.k.a. that dude who sang "Lost Without U" and literally spanked Rihanna in that creepy-hot GQ pictorial).

Oh yeah, and, unprovoked, he came up to us in the hall the other day and introduced himself! Like we didn't know who he was. Swoonmeltswoon!

Anyway, suit up for a trip to the final frontier (it's sexier than we expected), and allow yourself to fall completely under Thicke's magic spell. Er, again.

Think George Michael's nothing more than a blast from the past? Think again. With last night's American Idol cameo, the Brit powerhouse proved he still has what it takes to shake his derriere on national television. And while many of you were probably seeing the former Wham! frontman for the very first time, others remember a simpler time, a time when acid-washed denim prevailed and skintight man-pants were considered the epitome of sexiness.

With smash hits like "I Want Your Sex," "Freedom 90" and "Faith," Michael proved it possible to build an entire career around a smug wink and taut posterior. So travel back in time with us, won't you, to the year 1987, as we take a nostalgic look back at the campy black-and-white video that paired high-pitched vocals with awkward crotch-level gyrations. And get ready to forget everything you know about Beyonce. This guy not only invented the concept of bootyliciousness -- he elevated it to an art form.

+ Bonus fact: Did you know that Wham!'s breakup (which resulted from Michael's decision to go solo) was the real-life inspiration for the storyline in the Hugh Grant flick Music & Lyrics? If you haven't seen the film's faux music video, "Pop! Goes My Heart," watch it right here.