
I recently discovered Brokencyde -- think "Nookie"-era Fred Durst getting his hand caught in a garbage disposal, then pulling it free and, with his good hand, pouring battery acid all over it, and then lighting it on fire, and then putting it back in the disposal... except with WAY more neon -- and I've watched the shoestring budget (though that might be a generous statement) for their "Freaxxx" video (warning: F-bombs, possible choking, O.E.) about five or six times. (I played it for MTV Multiplayer blogger Tracey John, and her exact words were "Worst thing I've ever heard in my life. Hands down.")
Still, I'm inexplicably, simultaneously mesmerized/ entranced/ reviled by it. But despite my multiple viewings, there are a couple of things I'm still trying to wrap my brain around -- that is, the pieces of my brain that haven't hocked themselves out of my ears like a giant mind loogie.
1.) LOOK AT SE7EN'S HAIR! And TELL ME he's not wasting some Bill Kaulitz flavor. Also, has Se7en ever made himself puke from screaming?
2.) HOW DOES BROKENCYDE AFFORD A RANGE ROVER? I'm gonna go ahead and assume it was donated (can't knock Eat Cake Films' hustle!). They look like they slept in a Dumpster behind a Taco Bell. And I say that with nothing but mad love for the 7-layer burrito.
3.) GET CRUNKED UP! HOW much Crunk do these dudes consume in an average day?
4.) SPELL CHEYK! Why does being electro-skr33m0h 0tt0matically make u a bad splr?
5.) MY OWN PERSONAL LEVEL OF COGNITIVE DISSONANCE: Yes, Brokencyde is an awesomely vulgar attack on good taste, but they're on the Saints & Sinner Tour with Hollywood Undead and Senses Fail, and they're doing the Vans Warped Tour this summer, which has gotta be better than a summer in Albequerque. Meanwhile, while Brokencyde's off promoting their upcoming album and criss-crossing the country, I'll be spending my summer sitting at a desk behind a computer, so maybe the joke's on me. Also, Brokencyde, if you're reading this, I kinda want the graffiti pig t-shirt. GeTt FR33KEEY! You know... or not.