Obsessively blogging about pop music, pop videos, pop stars, and pop culture from inside the MTV headquarters in Times Square. We also have a slight Jonas Brothers problem. And a little fixation with Tokio Hotel.
Great. Just what Brooklyn needs more of, right? A pop-punk garagey all-girl band? Except while Care Bears on Fire have pre-teen marketability on their side, their music is what sells. And if you're wondering just how old these girls are, know that they've been at this for four years, so, in the wise words of gone-too-soon Aaliyah (never forget!), age ain't nothin' but number for them.
And while they're quick to discuss sparkles and stuffed animals (um, they ARE named after one), Care Bears On Fire keep their musical idols and tastes super sophisticated: Jack White, Patti Smith and Kim Gordon? Well, well, well. I don't even know who my idol was at that age... Britney, probably? A. J. McLean?
Watch Izzy, Sophie and Jenna's Buzzworthy "The Five" interview to find out what's really important things to CBOF: Monchichis, mascara, and raising praying mantises... the "fiercest" of which is named Michelle Obama. (What else would you name a truly fierce praying mantis?)
Watch The Dead Weather's "Treat Me Like Your Mother" video, but please keep in mind, this is NOT how real-life bullets work. It's also NOT how you settle the dispute that may arise when you show up in the desert wearing the same leather jacket as someone else. It's also not the best way to handle relationship issues -- this is how you handle relationship issues, right Kanye? Also, I really hate gratuitously violent videos, but I am intrigued by the concept of a modern-day spaghetti Western with a possible Electra complex.
Watch "Treat Me Like Your Mother," the latest video by superband The Dead Weather -- The White Stripes/ The Raconteurs' Jack White, Dean Fertita of Queens of the Stone Age, Jack Lawrence of The Raconteurs and The Greenhornes, and The Raconteurs and Alison Mosshart of The Kills. Super-cinematic directorial brushstrokes courtesy of filmmaker Jonathan Glazer, who directed the movie Sexy Beast, countless TV commercials, Jamiroquai's "Virtual Insanity" and Radiohead's "Karma Police."
+ Madonna's almost-former label Warner Bros. just announced that her fourth compilation CD, Celebration, will be released on September 28th. This will be the last commitment she has to fulfill with Warner and a video for the song "Celebration" will also be released soon. (Madonna.com)
+ For all two people who haven't heard this devastating news, darling dollface David Archuleta's DAD (who is also a MORMON, in case you forgot) was busted for soliciting prostitution at a massage parlor in Utah. <using our spa voices>: P.S. — Looks like he got a "happy ending" too. This makes up for anything our parents never got us for Christmas. (MTV News)
+ Guess who's gracing the cover of Elle magazine's July music issue: none other than the always lovely and forever glamorous Gwen Stefani. Va va va VOOM! (Popbytes)
+ Miley Cyrus was out for a little seafood dinner when she gave an impromptu performance, much to the crowd's surprise! They begged for more, but she made her exit after two songs. (E! Online)
+ Jack White hates MySpace and wants you to go to the record store and buy his friggin' vinyl... (The Tripwire)
+ ...which is probably a good idea since MySpace just laid off like 400 people (about 30% of its workforce). YIKES! Think I should cancel that interview I have next week? (All Things Digital)
+ Nick Lachey says he's never heard unlikely singer Susan Boyle actually sing. Hm. Sounds like Nick needs to take a trip on them Interwebs those lazy crazy kids are usin' these days. (US Magazine)
Most bands come loaded with so many cultural references and spawn so many spin-offs, that they may as well become genres of their own. Think about it. How many Pearl Jams have there been since the '90s (I'm looking at you, Staind)? How many Led Zeppelins have there been since the '70s (ask Jack White)? Can you even count?
The B-52s are a rare exception. By all counts a major mainstream success, they carved their names indelibly into pop culture's skin with off-beat hits like "Rock Lobster" and "Love Shack."
They were also a bunch of middle-aged (bang, bang, bang), Pee Wee's Playhouse-lookin', new wave Athens art weirdos (on the door, BABY!), with a style that's damn hard to identify in any other living band.
Who are the new B-52s? Katy Perry? Never Shout Never? Lady Gaga? Nope. Not at all. What's the modern equivalent of "Love Shack?" Does it even exist? Screw on your thinking caps (hurry up!), watch the classic 1989 Club MTV performance of "Love Shack" below (and bring your!), and do your best to come up with today's popular descendants of The B-52's (jukebox money!). I dare you to find one.
Los Angeles power-pop balladeers Crash Kings have a blurb on their AbsolutePunk profile that begins, "Crash Kings sound like nothing you've heard before." It's not true at all. Crash Kings sound like Ben Folds and Jack White joined CK brosWeezer in a Queen tribute band. Look at "Mountain Man," for example. Dead-on White Stripes lead vocals, theatrical piano-driven back-up (hello, Ben Folds) and epic guitar crunch a la Weezer emulating Queen.
"1985" is more funk than rock, emphasizing the Ben Folds angle only to quickly rule it out with harmony so tight it sounds like a clever snake is singing both parts in one supernatural voice. It sounds diabolical. Surely you've heard a few diabolical things by now.
So anyway, Crash Kings don't sound like nothing you've heard before. In fact, they sound a lot like plenty. But here's a thought: Suppose you were to eat a sandwich made of tuna fish, peanut butter, and caramel. BUT suppose it was delicious. It wouldn't be out of line for you to exclaim, "This is like nothing I've ever tasted before," when in fact, it is exactly the same as three things you've had regularly since you were a kid (four, with the bread). It's the unexpected combination of things that you already like, that gets you shouting. Crash Kings are like that. Try them. Shout a little.
Remember when Amy Winehouse was completely facehoused like every single day almost from like late 2006 or something up until about four minutes ago except for about a half hour at the Grammys this past February? Well one of the consequences of all that crack is that she got dropped from voicing the theme song to the next Bond flick, a gig that instead went to the White Stripes' Jack White, who composed the song, kicked Meg out from behind the drum kit, pulled in Alicia Keys and called it a duet.
The result: "Another Way to Die," the sexy-plucky Quantum of Solace theme song (check out the trailer below -- the movie's in theaters November 14th) about killing people, because someone always dies in Bond movies, and by the 22nd Bond movie, you sorta need to come up with a more creative way to do it.
Watch for a metric ton of CGI and a quickie cameo by Daniel Craig at the very end. More obvious: Jack White's insane-looking hair and the amount of Coke Zero marketing you're about to have shoved down your throat pretty soon. (Except I honestly do LOVE Coke Zero like Amy Winehouse probably loves... "classic" coke.)
I personally think "Another Way to Die" is compelling, but it's no "Die Another Day," and it sure as hell ain't no Dame Shirley Bassey purring out "Diamonds Are Forever," and it's no "Goldfinger." But really, what is? Anyway, does it live up to your Bond song standards?
+ Amy Winehouse exposes her husband's ding dong, gives whole new meaning to the term "overshare." (The Sun - UK)
+ Avril Lavigne releases her new clothing line. You'll know it's hers because of its unique punk rebelliousness! And because it has her face plastered all over it. (ONTD)
Most bands come loaded with so many cultural references and spawn so many spin-offs, that they may as well become genres of their own. Think about it. How many 
