Saturday night was Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards 2009, also known as THE NIGHT JOE JONAS REVEALED HIS NEW HAIRCUT! But other things happened too! And instead of just TALKING about them, let's LOOK AT THE PHOTOS, shall we?

Miley Cyrus won Favorite Female Singer, and she cried. And cried. And cried. She cried so much she became Cryly Cyrus. Cyley Crylus even! I don't remember if she thanked Jesus, but she was super verklempt and definitely thanked her fans. And cried some more. She managed to do it in a classy way. Like, her face wasn't all full of bawly snot or anything. Congrats, Miley!

Archidorable McArchipants David Archuleta, fresh off the U.S. leg of his tour, accepted the Favorite Reality Show award on behalf of American Idol along with Paula Abdul, who OF COURSE interrupted him AND scared the crap out of me in what looked like costume castaways from a performance of "Disturbia." (Seriously, what WAS that?)

I was traumatized.

Jesse McCartney won Favorite Male Singer, and while the "How Do You Sleep" remix with Ludacris is totally hot, Jesse also won Buzzworthy's unofficial Worst Glasses Award for those Transitions lenses. Sad panda, dude.

Demi Lovato was an absolute golden GODDESS. She was dressed up without looking OVERLY made-up. And her amazing gold metallic dress is an Ina Soltani, if you're taking notes, and her heels are YSL.

I included this photo of Josh Peck because I have a total crush on him. I'm pretty sure he was sending secret eye signals to me through the TV and telling me he wants to run away with me. I'm positive.

And, finally, here it is, your moment of Zen -- Best Music Group winners the Jonas Brothers and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in a loin cloth or something, all wet and slimy and mens-like -- which is going to push me into therapy... or an early grave...

+ Get the complete list of Kids' Choice Awards 2009 winners, and check out KCA red carpet photos and behind-the-scenes photos of the Jonas Brothers, David Archuleta, Miranda Cosgrove and more KCA stars both slimed and unscathed!

Tween dream Miranda Cosgrove is kinda the luckiest girl ever -- not only does she have excellent taste (she loves Paramore, and has a better wardrobe than I do), but she's also the star of her own TV show, iCarly, she gets to hang out with both Drake AND Josh, and she got to squeeze into a photo booth with Diego Gonzalez for her new video, "About You Now."

If she weren't such a living doll, I'd almost hate her, because seriously, she looks like a miniature Catherine Zeta Jones but not scary. But I'll reign in that quick-to-boil jealousy ('tisn't the season for haters, after all), and give you a behind-the-scenes glimpse into "About You Now," which premieres tonight right after Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh, on Nick at 8pm ET.

+ Watch the clip below, and check out Drake and Josh's take on "Jingle Bells," requisite awful holiday sweaters and all.

As much as we love our Drake & Josh reruns (Seriously, guys, stop hogging our DVR!) we can't wait to see TV stepbros Drake Bell and Josh Peck bringing the fam back together with their upcoming Christmas spectacular!

Take a sneak peek and watch the Nickelodeon stars (and hotties-in-training) break out the Xmas tunes ("Jingle Bells," baby!) ugly Cosby sweaters (sorry, Grammy!) and, er, naked holiday cheer in preparation for their new movie, Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh.

Then tune into Nick on Friday, December 5 at 8/7c to find out what prompts Miranda Cosgrove (a.k.a annoying l'il sis Megan Parker) to offer the boys this sage piece of sisterly advice: "Either put on some clothes or join a gym."

In case you weren't already on VMA overload from all the incoming star wattage (Tokio Hotel! The Hills cast! Zac Efron!) here's two more confirmed guests who'll be handing out a Moonman: Nickelodeon stars Drake Bell and Josh Peck.

The Drake & Josh co-stars recently went head to head at the 2008 Kids' Choice Awards, with Drake ultimately taking home the title of Favorite Male TV Actor. And while the real-life besties play step-brothers/rivals on the show (like Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, but without the fake rap video) they're not about to let a little friendly competition turn them into the male/Nickelodeon equivalent of The Hills' Lauren and Heidi. (Or ARE they?)

Still, must be a relief for the boys to hit the VMAs as presenters and not direct competitors this time around. And since they'll be on the same team, that means they can turn their full attention to more important matters. Like beating out Tokio Hotel's Bill Kaulitz in the category of Biggest Lady Killah.