+ Logo's The Big Gay Sketch Show has given Paula Abdul the proper American Idol send-off montage. (LogoOnline)

+ Lady Gaga nipple slip -- who wants it? And are you sure? (Drunken Stepfather)

+ And only because she's one of our favorite models of our time, here's Linda Evangelista doing W magazine. (Socialite Life)

+ The Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch is doing better after surgery to treat his cancer.  Thanks for asking. (Rolling Stone)

+ Hey, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler! Walk this way! No, no! Not THAT way!! (Dude fell off the stage backwards last night at a show in South Dakota, dontcha know). Word on the street is that he sustained minor injuries to his head, neck, and shoulder (translation: lips). Get better, Stevie! (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

+ Ricky Martin has finally stopped shaking his bon bon long enough to join the Twitterverse. AY YI YI! (OHLALA)

+ SO amazing. Lauren Conrad and the rest of her Hills friends have been immortalized in pastels and are hanging in some art gallery in Vancouver. And it's even the really good shot of Lauren with mascara streaming down her face. You know, from that one time when she cried? (Pretty Boring)

+ British bad boy and all-around international superstar Robbie Williams is set to return with an album of entirely new material this fall, titled Reality Killed The Video Star. (RobbieWilliams.com)

+ Good for you, Lily Allen! Way to hook up with a guy who's your own age for a change. (Daily Mail)

+ 90's grrl rocker Jill Sobule lambasts Katy Perry for the first time, after keeping mum during countless interviews about the "I Kissed A Girl" brew-ha-ha, calling her "a title thieving, f***ing little slut." (Rumpus)

+ Lauren Conrad is going to be a guest judge on the next cycle of America's Next Top Model? Really? (Pop on the Pop)

+ Ashley Olsen is "surprised she didn't end up like Britney." (Marie Claire)

+ This news about Chris Brown and Rihanna makes us really sad, on multiple levels. (People)

+ We hate to say it, but Perez Hilton has a pretty good ear for up-and-coming music, so much so that he's getting his own record label. Yikes. (The Tripwire)

+ FINALLY some good news today... Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo have broken up. The kicker is that it was because Tony didn't want to dress up as Ken doll for a "Barbie & Ken"-themed party. Wonder who gets to keep the Dream House?  (Pink Is The New Blog)

+ Like her or not, lady is getting paid: Lauren Conrad just topped the NY Times' Best Seller's List! (StarPulse)

+ It's nice to see all the American Idol kids sticking together in spite of all the anti-gay protesters that are showing up outside their concerts (bashing Adam Lambert). (Popnography)

+ Lady Gaga made history this week, as she is only the third artist EVER to have three songs on the Billboard Mainstream Top 40. (Perez Hilton)

+ This weekend, Lindsay Lohan threw herself at 2008 MTV VMA host Russell Brand and surprisingly enough, the self-proclaimed sex addict said "NO!" (The Superficial)

+ Ricky Martin (remember him) kind of came out. (Popnography)

+ Open mouth, insert foot:  Joe Jonas accidentally blabbed on Larry King Live that his little brother Nick Jonas was indeed dating Miley Cyrus again. LOVE IT! (US Magazine)

+ Justin Timberlake refuses to play golf with girlfriend Jessica Biel because she kicks his ass everytime. (PopCrunch)

+ Here's a shocker: Lauren Conrad just dished on The View that Spencer Pratt's apology on the last episode of The Hills was... GASP! STAGED! (Ryan Seacrest)

+ Um, a dead body was found during the clean-up after this year's Bonnaroo festival? So creepy! (NME)

+ Keyshia Cole pulled out all the stops on the L.A. leg of her current U.S. tour.  Friends like Keri Hilson, Nas, and Diddy were all in attendance to help the singer put on a star-studded show. Wish we could have gone! (Rap-Up)

Miley Cyrus' dusty rose Moschino Cheap & Chic dress may've been all business at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards (and HELLLOOOO, Lauren Conrad! Super smokin', also in Moschino), but while Miley's dress was super sophisticated, her turquoise-blue nail polish was pure party. Want turquoise nails like Miley's? Check out Butter London's "Artful Dodger" -- a bright teal that's not only electric but non-toxic. It's $14 and available at ButterLondon.com.

+ More Miley beauty picks after the jump!

Read more...

(Credit: Andy Ryan)

Did you see The Hills last night? Holy ship. Is there a better show? I know this is neither the time nor the place, but I'm pretty sure Spencer Pratt is the most interesting person who has ever been alive. No offense, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, but homeboy went to therapy and became a different person. A sensitive person who is also a rapper. WHAT THE HELL?

Not only that, but as a barely-recovering Laguna Beach junkie, I am SO psyched for the return of Kristin Cavallari. Did you see her go straight for Justin Bobby?? What I wouldn't give to go to bed tonight and wake up in next year so all of my unanswered Hills questions would be answered already!

But enough about my "problem." Aside from Spencer's emergence from his cocoon of cruelty as a gentle butterfly, last night's big story was Lauren Conrad's departure. What was originally her spin-off, officially entered a new life of its own as she rode away from K-Cav and the Speidi extravaganza alone.

To mark the beginning of a whole new era, Hills producers brought in a whole new voice. They very wisely landed on young buck Tamar Kaprelian, whose fresh and honest single "New Day" has enough emotion in every note to knock the grass off The Hills. Look out, "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield! It's a new day.

In the great tradition of reality TV, I'm gonna let Tamar Kaprelian introduce herself. Here are a couple highlights from her hand-written bio:

I am 22. Songwriting is the most sacred thing in my life. Classic Disney films influenced me as a kid, but my true love of music came about when I discovered Billy Joel and Paul McCartney. In love I fell.

My music chronicles my life, my relationships, my basket-case-ness, and my utter determination and drive to create an album that is real and true to me both personally and artistically.

I hope you enjoy my little musical offerings and songs.

Peace & love.

What a sweetheart, eh? Plays a mean piano, too. Keep an eye out for Tamar Kaprelian and catch her first single "New Day" in The Hills' Season 5 finale, starting tonight!

+ TONS More Brilliant Hills Coverage On Remote Control Blog

+ Here are some new pix of P!nk, looking mighty fine with her ever-elusive "sex cuts" on the sides ("ever-elusive" to us because because we don't ever get our ass to the gym). (The Blemish)

+ Amy Winehouse recently left a trail of tears around a hotel pool in St. Lucia, first streaking topless while mumbling lots of crazy, then riding around every which way on horseback. (Daily Mail)

+ Speaking of riding the white horse, Samantha Ronson posted this pic of her very own "coke cake" on Twitter. Wonder if you can special order those from Baskin Robbins or...  (Gabby Babble)

+ In case the current economic clime hasn't taken its toll on your fanny pack and you've got an extra 500 bucks to blow, Britney's got a "Toxic VIP Tour Package" that will blow. your. mind. (Britney Spears Blackout)

+ Tuesday lolz:  Kim Kardashian's ass gets tore UP by Eminem (and then stuffed into a woodchipper), and she acts like she doesn't mind. (US Magazine)

+ Kelly Clarkson jokingly talks about shooting the video for her next single "I Do Not Hook Up," which involves her crawling "across a table attempting to be sexy in a fantasy." (Kelly Clarkson's Official Blog)

+ A few days ago we talked about some truly amazing pics of Robert Pattinson circa 12 years old, looking well, 12.  Now, we give you a more grown-up version.  In a mesh tank with armpit hair. (E! Online)

+ Possibly celebrating her last season on The Hills, Lauren Conrad and her boyfriend Kyle Howard let loose on the beach.  (Socialite Life)

+ Much to her record label's chagrin, Island girl Amy Winehouse has sworn off her trademark sultry soul sound for her next album and has instead adopted a more doob-friendly Reggae flavor. As long as it doesn't have the meth-y fresh tingle, who cares? (The Sun)

+ The Lonely Island boys (Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer, and Jorma Taccone) were recently named to Details' list of "mavericks." And no. Sarah Palin had nothing to do with it. Thank God. (Details)

+ Hollywood darling Anne Hathaway has been tapped to bring Judy Garland's life to the big screen.  (Pop Crunch)

+ Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan is busy crashing her brand-new Maserati into something stationary. (Radar Online)

+ Fergie's keeping her lady lumps and her baby bumps separate, at least until after her tour with the Black Eyed Peas. (Us Magazine)

+ Speaking of lady lumps and taking dumps, can anyone remember a time ever when Scarlett Johansson wasn't pushing those things in our face? Whatever happened to actually putting models on the cover of Vogue?? (Pretty Boring)

+ Have you seen this sneak peek of The Hills Season Five and all the gloriousness that is Audrina and Brody kind of macking it?? (Remote Control)

+ Our girl Lauren Conrad seems to be throwing in the towel on a lot of things lately. First, she's phoning in her final season of The Hills, and now it seems that her clothing line is on permanent hiatus. Maybe she'll finally start getting the rest she needs and get rid of that perma-rasp she's got going on. (Socialite Life)

+ Speaking of The Hills, the trailer for new movie Sorority Row starring "World's Hottest Woman With One Lip" Audrina Patridge just came out and it looks pretty creepy and surprisingly cool (mostly because Carrie Fisher is in it). (The Evil Beet)

+ If it's true that Katy Perry is dating Josh Groban, then there's still hope for every single weird-looking guy who can sing.  (MTV UK)

+ We just snorted in our fried rice after seeing this picture of Joe Jonas trying to give himself crow's feet. You think his apology will need to be Miley-sized, or can we just let people live? (ICYDK)

+ Natasha Bedingfield got married over the weekend to some businessman, cuing the inevitable shift from "you-go-girl" power pop songs to sappy, LeAnn Rimes mush. Word of warning, Tashers. Stay away from Lifetime movies and Western Sizzler.  (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

+ Whatever tannin Valentino is dipping his jowls in, we need to get our hands on it pronto. That's Italian for "free," for all you uneducated people out there. (Popbytes)

+ This side-by-side vid of some dumb Fox News anchor being made fun of in Britney Spears' If You Seek Amy video is bringing us the lolz today. Something about this lady is just not right! (Pop Crunch)

+ David Archuleta was all, 'I HATE MY CAREER' and said a lot of nasty stuff in his new video update while on tour.  Just kidding -- he was his usual PAINFULLY sweet self.  No really -- it hurts.  (Neon Limelight)

+ Hold onto your skin-lightening pills, kidz.  Michael Jackson is poised to perform a series of shows at London's 02 Arena this summer.  Would you go across the pond to see him??? (People)

+HOLY CRAP KEVIN FEDERLINE IS FAT!  Britney is TOTALLY lolzing.   (Pink Is The New Blog)

+ Those crazy kids Fall Out Boy just launched their own version of Oregon Trail, an old Mac computer game NONE of YOU crazy kids will remember.  And if you do, you're probably going to see Michael Jackson at 02 this summer. (Friends or Enemies)

+ Our girl Lauren Conrad is writing a series of books "loosely" based on her experience as a reality television star.  I'm so confused.  (Remote Control)

+ Everyone just needs to leave Miley and her boobs alone already!!  She could put on a SNUGGIE and go jogging -- as long as she's with her hot boyfriend, I really don't care. (Us Magazine)