You know me (you don't know me, really, but you know me, you know), I always have the terms, "Mariah + Carey" and "Christmas" on my Google Alerts. So imagine the rush of blood to the head I felt when I was hipped to the existence of this revolution in holiday Mimi merchandising.

Introducing Mariah Carey A Traditional Christmas, Christmas Classics-Yule Edition. Now when I first glanced at this, I thought, "Hark, the herald angels REALLY DO sing!" Mariah went and trumped Lady Gaga's super deluxe edition of The Fame: Monster (lock of hair included), BY THROWING A DAMN YULE LOG IN A BOX WITH THE REISSUE OF HER HOLIDAY LP.

But, hark, I was wrong. But it's still awesome because Ms. Glitter is warming up your Christmas with a virtual yule log. The DVD fire burns while Mariah's holiday standards warm your soul.

Watch a preview of Mariah's yule log burning -- it's Mariah with extra fiyah -- and while you're at, visit the ghost of Christmas past with Mariah's take on "All I Want For Christmas Is You."

+ Sad news at this hour: DJ AM was found dead in his NYC apartment this afternoon, apparently of a drug overdose. From everything we've heard, he was a really nice guy all around and will be sorely missed. (MTV News)

+ Country music darling Carrie Underwood reminded us all why we like her so much, donating hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of instruments to her high school alma mater. (People)

+ Pop star Miley Cyrus performed her new single "Party In The U.S.A." to a max-capacity crowd at the TODAY show in NYC this morning, holdin' on to those high notes for dear life (but managing to let go of the stripper pole this time around). (E! Online)

+ Weezer's Rivers Cuomo admitted to Rolling Stone this week that their debut single "Undone - The Sweater Song" was a complete rip-off (intentionally or otherwise) of a Metallica song. (Rolling Stone)

+ For those of us longing for the old Mariah Carey and wondering why she's been peddling s%*# for the last few years, lady is BACK with her new cover of Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is." (Neon Limelight)

+ What do you do if you're Lindsay Lohan and a store who loaned you two million dollars worth of jewelry comes a'knockin' for it? You say your safe was STOLEN, of course. HEY! It's a recession!! Gotta be frugal! (The Superficial)

+ Noel Gallagher quit Oasis last night? Via his blog? (NME)

+ Project Runway winner Christian Siriano just launched a new makeup line for Victoria's Secret Beauty and he wants to give you a downtown makeover, and not in the hot-tranny-mess way. (NYMag)

+ Kylie Minogue, touring North America next month, is looking (what'd you say, Christian?) fierce on the cover of Instinct magazine. (We Are Pop Slags)

+ Big Boi is coming out with another solo album, but Andre 3000 fans don't fret. Outkast will also release another album of crazy soon after. (AllHipHop)

+ Hip-hop power couple Ashanti and Nelly called it quits this week. Truly a sad day. Even more sad than Michael Jackson not being buried for the last two months, though that comes in at a close second. (Rap-Up)

+ Just another caaaaaasual travel day for Lady Gaga, wearing nothing more than a g-string onesie. Comfy and caaaasual. (Bossip)

+ Mariah Carey has covered Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is" and is releasing it as the official first single off her forthcoming album "Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel." (Neon Limelight)

+ Mariah Carey gave a big "F U" to the R.I.A.A. (Recording Industry Association of America) and their silly little Grammys by pushing back the release date of her new album to a day after the cut-off date for it to be considered eligible for this year's awards. Personally, we think she's pulling a bitch move in light of fellow megastar Whitney Houston releasing her new album on September 1st. Nothing like a little competition between two DIVAAAAAAAAAAAAAS, right lambies? (The Frisky)

+It's so wonderful seeing the excitement on Kanye West's face to be out and about with someone as overtly glamorous as Amber Rose (especially in a barely-there bikini, and by "barely-there" we mean linguine-draped meatballs with a leg of lamb. Seriously?? Her body was assembled by spare parts. AND WE LIKES IT.) (The Blemish)

+ New pictures have surfaced of a hotter-than-ever Ricky Martin hanging out on the beach with his angelic one-year-old twin boys. ME ENCANTO! (Socialite Life)

+ Apple now accounts for 25% of total music sales via iTunes. (CNN Money)

+ Oh, and in case you're one of like four people in the world who wasn't annoyed when songs would auto-play on MySpace Music, they've disabled that feature to save a buck or two. (TechCrunch)

+ Be on the lookout for Yeah Yeah Yeah's frontwoman Karen O and MGMT to guest on the new Flaming Lips record, Embryonic. Evidently Karen did her portion of the two songs she recorded right over the phone. (NME)

I'll be upfront: a remix of "Obsessed" had a slim chance with me; don't just mess with perfection and expect me to be cool with it, OK? I'll concede the official Mariah Carey "Obsessed" remix is pretty dern similar to the auto-tuned bliss that is its source. (If you haven't heard the remix, just expect Gucci Mane rap breaks and occasional ohs and ehs over Mariah's vocals.) Speaking of which, I'm not mad at you Gucci, but you were kind of sitting pretty on this project, huh? Or perhaps Gucci, like a good lamb, understands any major changes would be tantamount to sacrilege.

Anyway, I am interested in the remix treatment of the "Obsessed" music video; I felt the original video needed a little somthin'. Mariah and Brett Rattner (and beard-o Mariah) filmed the remix scenes during the original New York shoot; and while there is a lot of overlap, now we get sexy, writhing table Mariah (reminiscent of "Womanizer" Britney in the sauna) with Gucci Mane standing in back -- all in a perfect vision of haughtiness. Oh, Emi, er, no-one-in-particular, you can only dream what our lives are actually like. Also a plus of the new version: with more footage to work with, creepy bearded Mariah gets less airtime! Why is she so creepy?

And my favorite moment of the video? As soon as Gucci takes the reigns, Mariah goes straight for the champ-y. Oh - hi camera!

+ The feud between Mariah Carey and Eminem has just escalated to new levels. Now the rapper is threatening to release nude photos of the megastar, supposedly from when they were together. (US Magazine)

+ Jessica Simpson has a new reality show coming out on VH1 and she's got some people pretty pissed about her extravagant spending habits. (Pop Crunch)

+ Panic At The Disco have finally announced replacements for the two members who left the group earlier this month. (NME)

+ Leona Lewis is pulling out all the stops for her sophomore album due out this fall, working with the likes of Justin Timberlake, Ryan Tedder, Timbaland and more. (Rap-Up)

+ So the story is true: Michael Jackson did get busy with some Norwegian girl and had a son who is now 25 years old. (Socialite Life)

+ Buzzcrush David Archuleta recently covered Colbie Caillat's "Bubbly" and it sounds simply divine. (Neon Limelight)

Lately, I've spent an inordinate amount of time watching Mariah Carey's "Obsessed" video -- the one based loosely on Mean Girls... HELLO! The ending? Where fake Eminem gets hit by a bus? That's totally "And that's how Regina George died." Obvs! Mean Girls is one of Mariah's favorite movies. LOOK IT UP! Anyway, I want to like it. I want to love it. But I JUST CANNOT GET PAST the facial hair. That beard just feels so realistic that it upsets me on a fundamentally distressing level.

Anyway, they say that the best way to deal with a fear is to confront it. So I'm thinking about investing in some fake facial hair. Appropriately, I discovered this site called Nightmarefactory.com, and it's full of so many fake beards and goatees that I think I'm finally over my fear of Mariah's fake goat. I'm particularly fond of this three-point goatee, which comes in a variety of colors, as you can see. It's got a nice Federlinian vibe to it, no?

Now all you need is a grey hoodie, a blow dryer, keys to the Plaza Hotel, and AutoTune, and you too can reenact your own version of "Obsessed." You're welcome!

+ Instead of just owning up to the fact that her goose is cooked (not in Tamar's opinion, mind you) Mariah Carey did a little Twitter damage control following her performance at the Michael Jackson memorial service yesterday at L.A.'s Staples Center, saying she was just too overcome with emotion to give a perfect performance. However, longtime collaborator Trey Lorenz was pitch-perfect and sounded pretty much exactly the same as he did on Mariah's original MTV Unplugged version of "I'll Be There". (MTV News)

+ Season-ticket holder to Crazytown Lil Mama likened Michael Jackson's passing to the death of THE Jesus Christ. (Rap-Up)

+ Long-forgotten rapper Mase has been inspired by who else to make a comeback? None other than Michael Jackson/Jesus Christ. UGH. Jesus Christ! (Perez Hilton)

+ Sam Lutfi, Britney Spears' former best buddie/pal/stalker/drug crusher-upper/phonewire cutter is like the STD bronchitis you just can't kick. He's now filed papers in court saying that BritBrit has made him fear for his life. He's even naming some character witnesses, including Brit's former paparazzi squeeze Adnan Ghalib. Vat a mess... (TMZ)

+ In other douchebag news, Chris "Plea Bargain" Brown was not only seen kickin' it to Kanye's ex, Amber Rose at Diddy's annual White Party, but he also wore a beautiful, custom-crafted $300,000 diamond pendant that said "OOPS." Has this kid's parole started yet?? (Cele|bitchy)

+ Green Day is cashing in on their piece of music game "Rock Band," having just added three songs to the game's catalog. (MTV News)

+ And all this time I thought Raven Simone was just big-boned! SHE WAS PREGNANT?! At least for nine months of the last seven years. (Global Grind)

The focus during yesterday's Michael Jackson memorial shouldn't have been on Mariah Carey's performance of "I'll Be There," but for a while, it kind of was. There was tons of Twitter talk about how Mariah's lost her chops, she can't perform live anymore, she isn't the singer she once was. Yesterday was Michael's day.

But today, let's talk about Mariah Carey. I loved Mariah's performance of "I'll Be There," and the fact that an emotional Mariah could hold it together and even get through the whole song with Trey Lorenz was enough for me. Plus, "I'll Be There" is my favorite Jackson 5 song, one of my Mariah performances, and all-around favorite songs ever, so I'll take it any way I can get it: wholeheartedly, half-assed, whatever. Just give me those opening piano chords that've always sent chills up my spine and that tale of a love so earnest and unselfish that it's still gonna come back for seconds, and I'm good.

"I'll Be There" was the Jackson 5's fourth No. 1 hit, and when Mariah Carey added it as a last-minute addition to her 1992 MTV Unplugged performance, it became her sixth No. 1 hit and the only MTV Unplugged single that ever made it to a No. 1 spot. It was even nominated for a Grammy in 1993.

And 17 years later, it still sounds fresh.

Watch Mariah Carey and Trey Lorenz's 1992 MTV Unplugged performance of "I'll Be There," and get lifted.

+ If you're like me, you probably think at least TWO of the guys in up-and-coming boy band V Factory are hotter than hell. And if you're like me, you probably had no idea that the eldest member of the band, Nathaniel Flatt, is hotter than hell AND openly gay (that explains it, right?)! Check out this revealing interview with the hotness that is Nathaniel Flatt. (Towleroad)

+ The day would just not be complete without a juicy morsel about Lady Gaga. Today, we bring you her <TOPLESS> photo shoot for V Magazine. (Gabby Babble)

+ Chris Brown was evidently all over Kanye West's ex-girlfriend Amber Rose at the party Diddy threw for the 4th Of July this weekend... sloppy seconds much? (The Superficial)

+  Quincy Jones gave a shockingly honest interview about Michael Jackson's transformation from a handsome black man to a white guy with an addiction to plastic surgery. (GQ's STYLE)

+ Add Mariah Carey's name to the star-studded list of people who will be on hand at Jackson's memorial service to be held at the Staples Center in L.A. (P.S. MTV will broadcast the memorial LIVE on air and online beginning at 12pm ET tomorrow). (MTV News)

+ Madonna will not be attending the memorial service, but the Queen of Pop paid tribute to her counterpart during a weekend performance at London's O2 Arena, where Jackson was scheduled to perform. (MTV News)