I was in Bed Bath & Beyond the other night (or, Bed Bath & Beyonce, as I like to call it, even though that's not really very funny or clever as it has nothing to do with Beyonce), taking care of my bed, bath and business, and while I was waiting in the check-out line, debating whether or not I REALLY needed to buy that bottle of Kaboom (answer: YES, result: my tub looks like... I cleaned it), when I spotted HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL HAND SANITIZER. Seriously. That is a REAL PRODUCT. It's hand sanitizer, but... wait for it, here's the catch: IT HAS A HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL STICKER ON IT! It does not play "Get'cha Head in the Game" when you squirt it out, it doesn't magically give you spirit fingers or make you more popular. Zac Efron won't pop out of the bottle and grant you three wishes. I doubt this crap even protects you from swine flu. It's just... generic hand sanitizer... with a High School Musical sticker on it. Basically, you could take your own little bottle of Purel and put an HSM sticker on it to the same effect. Still, someone though to MASS PRODUCE AND MARKET THIS. T-shirts, lunchboxes, notebooks, fake tattoos, even socks I can handle. But hand sanitzer? Someone needs to put an end to the merchandising madness.

+ What's the weirdest band/ movie/ celeb merch you've ever encountered? Better yet, what weird band/ movie/ celeb stuff you own?

Those Facebook photos of you and your roommate carving Halloween pumpkins into the likeness of Onch were cute for a couple of days, but now they're starting to look as stale as that unhatched egg your cousin sent you (spoiler: it's a jellybean) and only slightly less boring than getting Superpoked.

Know what's NOT boring? Watching MTV.com videos on Facebook... WHILE you tag photos of you and your friends dressed as a parade of Britneys this past Halloween, or send out a mass FacialBook invite for your Tokio Hotel Christmas tree trimming party -- wherein you decorate four little trees with dreadlocks, Skittles, and candy rats.

What I'm getting it is this: you can now search through MTV's super-massive library of more than 16,000 music videos, make playlists of your favorite videos (like a playlist for your Tokio Hotel tree trimming party, or your I Miss Onch Dance-A-Thon playlist), and see who else likes the same videos as you. And you can watch videos in full-screen mode. Now that's HUGE!

+ From Michael Jackson to Metro Station, you can watch thousands of old-school and new-school MTV videos on Facebook. It's MTV like it used to be, except now with the Internet too! W00t!!1!

+ After winning three awards, not flubbing her lines and looking beyond gawgeous, Britney Spears is already being hailed as the 2008 VMAs' official "comeback kid." Which explains the three shiny silver Moonmen and pageant-worthy smile. (MTV)

+ Needless to say, over-the-top VMAs host Russell Brand enthusiastically agreed. "Consider this the resurrection of Britney Spears," he told reporters. "If there was a female Christ, it's Britney." What's more, Brand predicts this is just the beginning. "This could be the dawning of a new age for America," he mused. (MTV)

+ Meanwhile, Brand's big mouth got him into some trouble when he poked fun at the Jonas Brothers' chastity rings, prompting celebs to take sides. Natch, we already know where Jordin Sparks stands. But now? Paris Hilton surprises us by affirming she's Team Purity, all the way. GO JO! (MTV)

+ And now onto the fashion! Find out how Rihanna, Lindsay and Lauren Conrad stood out from the crowd plus read our VMAs Red Carpet Rewind to catch up on this year's hot new trends. (MTV)

+ Speaking of The Hills gals, LC and Audrina Patridge were all smiles at the official VMAs afterparty -- never mind the dramatic mascara-dripping showdown you saw on last night's episode. (MTV)

+ 'Course, that doesn't mean Audrina has to understand LC's appreciation for all things Kid Rock. (MTV)

+ Meanwhile, Good Charlotte held court at the In Touch Idols and Icons afterparty, while Samantha Ronson deejayed, Lindsay supervised and Mischa Barton fended off unwanted advances. (E! Online)

+ Plus, here's a few things you didn't see on the red carpet pre-show. Like the fact that nobody knows how to make an entrance like T-Pain. Nobody. (MTV)

+ And Kanye West explains why he gave the VMAs another chance. (MTV)

This massive pool here on the Paramount lot is known as the "B Tank," and it can be filled with gallons and gallons and gallons of resource-draining water (cool, right?) to simulate an ocean (the sky backdrop you see in the corner is about the size of a football field, to give you some perspective) like they did for the movie Jaws back in 1975.

Or, you can fill it with thousands of dollars' worth of lighting, hundreds of people, and one very special artist who'll be closing down the 2008 VMAs on Sunday night.

Who will that VIP be?

Leave your guesses in the comments. I'll give you four hints: It’s not Michael Phelps. Or an animatronic shark. Or Richard Dreyfuss. Or Jim Cantiello, though you can check out his on-the-scene reportage in the video at the bottom of this post.

Britney’s back -- for REALS -- and honestly, we're probably as amazed and eagerly anxious as you are. Except for those of you hardcore Britney fans who aren’t shocked at all; both Britney’s personal life and career have been on an upswing, and her just-announced appearance at this Sunday's VMAs may be just the beginning of her total transformation after a chaotic, drama-filled year. Here’s a look back at Britney's top all-time top VMA moments, from the is-she-naked body suit, to the slithering "Slave 4 U" snake, to the Madonna kiss seen ‘round the world.

1999 MTV VMAs: A then-17-year-old Britney teamed up with *NSYNC at the 1999 VMAs for their classroom-themed performance of “Baby One More Time” and "Tearin' Up My Heart,” cementing her image as a sexy, suggestive school girl on our collective conscience forever. Hailed as the next Madonna, she quickly lapped the boy band she once opened for (fronted by then-boyfriend Justin Timberlake); when her album eventually went certified platinum 14 times, she graduated from opening act to main attraction. (Watch the performance here.)

2000 MTV VMAs: Britney and  Christina Aguilera, both former Mouseketeers, proved there was no hate between the pop princesses when they presented an award together. That same night, then-18-year-old Britney shocked the world with a not-that-innocent live performance -- a mash-up of the Rolling Stones’ "Satisfaction” and her own hit, “Oops ... I Did It Again,” which took on new meaning when a she ripped off a pinstripe suit and fedora (so Fosse!) to reveal a nearly naked bodysuit. Not a girl indeed.

2001 MTV VMAs: Britney's “Slave 4 U” got a very “Welcome to the Jungle” makeover when Britney slithered onto the stage at the 2001 VMAs in a leafy Garden of Eden-meets-Maxim mag two-piece, enshrouded in an albino python, complemented by a caged tiger, and dancers dressed like zebras. PETA was not amused, but it was one of Britney's most iconic, awe-inspiring performances ever. (Watch the performance here.)

2002 MTV VMAs: Britney didn’t perform at the 2002 VMAs, but she didn’t need to -- that year Forbes magazine named her the world's most powerful celebrity of 2002. The same year she played a virgin in the movie Crossroads, she hit the 2002 VMAs dressed like a dominatrix, and left the spotlight -– and the scandal –- to Michael Jackson, who mistook the birthday cake she presented him as a lifetime achievement award. Oops…

2003 MTV VMAs: Two years before the birth of her first son, Britney teamed up with Christina Aguilera and Madonna in an homage to the same song Madonna opened the first-ever VMAs with in 1984. Dressed like a bawdy bride, Britney locked lips with Madonna and created the most scandalous make-out moment in VMA history. (Watch the performance here.)

2006 MTV VMAs: By then a married mother with her second kid on the way, Britney and Kevin Federline checked into the VMAs via video to present the year's Best R&B Video.

2007 MTV VMAs: Britney continued a scandal-plagued year by opening the 2007 VMAs with one of her most-discussed performances ever.

2008 MTV VMAs: Britney adds to her 16 nominations, (no wins... yet) with three additional nominations (Video of the Year, Best Pop Video, and Best Female Video), shows the world she’s on the mend when she appears with Russell Brand and a massive elephant in promo spots for the 2008 VMAs -– looking more radiant than ever.

We know she'll be opening the show, but what will the big moment hold? We don't know, but if Britney's involved, it's gonna mean we're gonna be talking about it. And talking about it. Will Britney's next VMA appearance be a serious one? Or will it employ some of the syrupy Southern sweetness that originally endeared her to America? Will other celebrities join her on the stage and show their support, or will she make her mark solo?

Watch the 2008 VMAs on Sunday, September 7 at 9pm sharp to see what Britney's got planned for her next VMA mega-moment.

Apparently, nobody told Jack's Mannequin frontman Andrew McMahon that you should never, ever ride the steel deathtraps at the Minnesota State Fair. Yep, instead of the raging kegger he promised us last week, McMahon's second tour diary is all about mingling with carnies, triggering our ungodly fear of heights and putting his far-too-precious life in the hands of a rickety yellow crane-like contraption.

Feeling daredevil-ish? Take a trip to the Twin Cities and go along for the ride. And when it's all over, feel free to kiss the ground and watch JM's (thankfully!) landlocked first installment one more time.

OK, so the VMAs strategy seshes may not be the epitome of glitz and glamour (or even have working air conditioning) but that's probably because they're saving all the REAL perks for this weekend's star-studded awards bash. Right? (RIGHT??)

At least, that's what we keep telling ourselves (when we're not too complaining about being sleep-deprived and explaining how Pete Wentz helped us perfect our upchuck reflex). But now that we hear Lupe Fiasco will be joining the perpetually growing list of VMAs performers, we're finally starting to believe that our time in the oxygen-deprivation chamber was TOTALLY worth it.

The former Artist of the Week -- who's also up for Best Hip Hop Video honors -- will be making like the Ting Tings and performing with the VMAs' official house band (DJ AM and Travis Barker). Get yourself revved up by re-watching our fave LF vid (that would be "Paris, Tokyo") and taking a second (Or third? Or fourth?) look at the Hype Williams-directed video that might just win him a Moonman.

Stay up-to-date on everything about the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards at vma.mtv.com, and don’t miss the big show Sunday (September 7) at 9 p.m. ET/PT or the pre-show red carpet coverage that starts at 8 p.m. ET/PT.

+ Underage driver Miley Cyrus gets (herself) an early Sweet 16 present. (Scandalist)

+ It's the end of the world ... and the All-American Rejects know it. (Rolling Stone)

+ You know you're Katy Perry when you have to actually TRY to not be sexy. (MTV)

+ Pepa (of Salt-N-Pepa fame) has just written her memoirs! Word has it, they just might make you wanna shoop. (BWE)

+ Slipknot beats out The Game on the latest Billboard 200 album chart. Weirdest rivalry ever? (Billboard)

+ New Kids on the Block are still refusing to fade into pop culture obscurity. (Idolator)

+ Fashion experts explain how to rock the VMAs red carpet without looking like something the cat -- or worse, Lil' Kim! -- dragged in. (MTV)

No matter how hard they beg, how loudly the yell or how many times they ask, we simply will NOT shut up and let those persistent little Ting Tings go.

Fortunately, they're not exactly flying under the radar these days. In addition for battling Britney for Video of the Year at next week's 2008 VMAs, they'll also be joining VMA house band DJ AM and former Blink 182 drummer Travis Barker on stage for some crazy collabo fun. 'Kay fine, honestly, we're not sure exactly what they'll be doing -- performing their VMA-nominated hit? Breakin' with the ABDC crews? Miming their way out of an invisible cardboard box?? But since we loves us some Ting Tings, we certainly plan on finding out...

Don't miss them on the VMAs this Sunday, September 7 at 9p.m. ET/ PT, and see what these two crazy, iPod-hocking Brits have up their sleeve. But first, brush up on your Ting Tings trivia with five things you never knew about them PLUS the real story behind their name.

That's JFK Airport at 4:48am this morning. No human being should have to suffer the burden of experiencing any airport at that ungodly hour...

Six hours later, one movie (Speed Racer -- I slept through most of it, but I did wake up once to Susan Sarandon's face -- I had no idea she was in that!), and one car upgrade (what up, Lincoln Navi? And don't freak, enviro types -- four seven of us are sharing it), and I'm sweatin' bunnies out here in Los Angeles. No, I haven't seen Heidi or Spencer or Lauren. (Yet.)

But more importantly, it looks like the VMA billboard squad got a jump start, because VMA signs are all over every part of town I've seen so far. Look who greeted us at the corner of Santa Monica and Vine. 'Sup, Jonas Brothers?

Okay, so I'm all credentialed, and I'm checked into the Paramount lot, which is the size of about seven amusement parks and a few regulation Olympic-sized pools. And as I was hiking through the production jungle to get to the MTV.com offices, effing Pete Wentz cruised by on a golf cart. JERK!

'Kay, enough chatter, more meetings. You think these "VMAs" just make themselves?

More bloggity tomorrow. Until then, a few L.A. videos: