+ Emo kids, get out your eyeliner and prepare for a reapplication: Conor Oberst just announced that Bright Eyes will release its final album next year. Perma sad face. :< (Pitchfork)

+ I wonder if some days Lady Gaga just wants to put on a pair of sweatpants that say "PINK" on the ass, and like, a ratty t-shirt and walk to the store on the corner to buy a Nesquik and a Cowtail. I mean, sure -- she's not in a unitard or a crazy dress, but is this her idea of comfy/casual? Um, and check out the headline on her crotch. Stay classssssay, Gags! (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

+ Nas was just ordered to pay almost $44,000 a month in child support to Kelis for the baby she had on Tuesday. Who wants to go to Discovery Zone??? Nas' treat!!! (Star Magazine)

+ In the wake of the Beastie Boys' sad announcement about Adam Yauch's cancer diagnosis, the Yeah Yeah Yeah's have stepped up to take their place at Lollapalooza. (The Tripwire)

+ And in a unifying show of solidarity, none other than Jay-Z is subbing out for the Beasties at All Points West. (The Tripwire)

+ Also, on the Jay-Z tip, weird or WOW that MGMT will be contributing to his next album? Boys better be gettin' paaaaaaaaid. (Reuters)

+ Whitney Houston, the woman who's been having a comeback for the last 10 years of her life, got a standing ovation at the listening party for her new album (out September 1) at New York's Lincoln Center. (Lifeline Live)

+ Congratulations are in order for Kelis -- not because she's getting divorced from Nas, but because she just had her baby! (E! Online)

+ And in other good news, Britney Spears looks like she's on track to take over the reigns to her personal life. Her daddy's run as her conservator draws to a close at the end of this year and, according to sources, it seems as though he is not going to maintain his firm grip on her life beyond then. (E! Online)

+ Calling all JoBro fans ... what's your favorite soundcheck costume on the tour? This is my personal fave, though I heard that Nick isn't one of the three piggies (it's some road manager or something). I wonder if they make Jordin Sparks (whose album Battlefield is out today, btdubbs -- and p.s. how effing GORGEOUS did Jordin look today on Alexa Chung this morning??) dress up as Little Red Riding Hood? Or what about this doozie? I guess Joe is supposed to be Screech from Saved By The Bell? Oof!(Twitter)

+ Maybe while his bros are soundchecking on stage as the Two Little Pigs, Nick Jonas is rolling around in one of these trying to have some "me" time. God knows it's more privacy than I've got in my NYC apartment. (Perez Hilton)

+ For all the Lindsay Lohan haters, she's having the last laugh: her recent ABC Family straight-to-television movie Labor Pains actually performed tons better than an airing of Harry Potter. Granted, that movie has been out for like, eight years but whatevs. (The Evil Beet)

It takes DC rapper Wale two hours to get dressed in the morning, because he takes fashion incredibly seriously. "Sneakerhead" doesn't begin to describe him, or the way he pores over denim styles, cuts and washes. This is not a hobby. This is art.

When he's not making masterpieces in the mirror, Wale is obsessing over sports -- real or pixelated. He's only lost at "NBA 2K9" once since he left for tour (he frequently invites people on to the bus for a challenge), and his win count for the year now hovers around 250. He's into sports so deep that, as he'll tell you, if he weren't all wrapped up in music, he'd be working the athlete beat.

But he is all wrapped up in music. Mark Ronson, who's doing everything he can to pull Wale up, describes the rapper as a "cross between Lil Wayne, Lupe Fiasco and Nas."

To find out how this fanatic talent -- the same one that spawned "Chillin," featuring Lady Gaga -- grew out of an early obsession with professional wrestling, watch Wale on "The 5," below. Check the "Chillin" video after the jump, and keep an eye out for Wale's Attention: Deficit, due out later this year.

+ Watch "Chillin'," featuring Lady Gaga, after the jump.

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+ Ricky Martin (remember him) kind of came out. (Popnography)

+ Open mouth, insert foot:  Joe Jonas accidentally blabbed on Larry King Live that his little brother Nick Jonas was indeed dating Miley Cyrus again. LOVE IT! (US Magazine)

+ Justin Timberlake refuses to play golf with girlfriend Jessica Biel because she kicks his ass everytime. (PopCrunch)

+ Here's a shocker: Lauren Conrad just dished on The View that Spencer Pratt's apology on the last episode of The Hills was... GASP! STAGED! (Ryan Seacrest)

+ Um, a dead body was found during the clean-up after this year's Bonnaroo festival? So creepy! (NME)

+ Keyshia Cole pulled out all the stops on the L.A. leg of her current U.S. tour.  Friends like Keri Hilson, Nas, and Diddy were all in attendance to help the singer put on a star-studded show. Wish we could have gone! (Rap-Up)

+ Singer Kelis (who is seven months preggers) has filed papers in court to try and squeeze some more money out of her ex-husband Nas. Never mind that she has hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry she could sell. eBay it, gurl! For the children! (Bossip)

+ Brooke Hogan has been talking about her mom a lot lately -- and not in a good way! (E! Online)

+ Debunking all those rumors that she is pregnant, Fergie revealed that she put on 17 pounds for a film role with actress Penelope Cruz. (US Magazine)

+ In what seems like a rude-dude move, Katy Perry (real name Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson) has sued an Australian designer by the name of Katie Jane Perry. Who do you think has more of a case? (Agent Bedhead)

+ Oh look! There's media darling Lindsay Lohan Tweeting topless pictures of herself. Thanks, Linz! Seeing that just made gayer than I already am, if that were somehow even possible. (Bitten & Bound)

+ Don't go getting your hopes up, Perez Hilton. Adam Lambert is NOT into you! What's that sound? Oh! It's just Perez getting out his claws. (Parade)

Recently, more's been made of Jessica Simpson's weight and denim cut-off short shorts than the fact that Arizona State University denied President Obama an honorary degree. Vanity Fair writer Rich Cohen even managed to use the word "fat" three times in one paragraph in his recent Jessica Simpson profile! Wow. It took him several more PARAGRAPHS to even get to the word "beautiful," which feels like a bit of an oversight, no?)

Seriously, who CARES how much Jessica Simpson weighs? Sure, she should've fired her stylist over the Mom Jeans incident of January 2009, but the girl was born gorgeous and looks great at any weight. And Jessica Simpson in short-shorts? Even better. Hello? She even PLAYED Daisy Duke. Why? Because girl's got legs for months.

So, while ASU skipped over Obama, we're giving Jessica Simpson Buzzworthy's all-time favorite short-shorter award. And she's also the official inspiration behind some of our all-time favorite short-shorts videos by Katy Perry, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Vanessa Hudgens, Gwen Stefani, Aerosmith and more...

Jessica Simpson -- "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" -- True, The Dukes of Hazzard movie was a total flop (or a box office smash if you're measuring it against the Glitter yardstick!) but Jessica did get in absolutely bananas shape to play Daisy Duke in the movie and its resultant video, which was so overtly sexy (duh -- Brett Ratner directed it) that it ended up banned in several countries. And true, the remake doesn't do the original much justice (I'm fairly confident the Nancy Sinatra version doesn't mention anything about "double Ds"), but sharing a set with Willie Nelson and the General Lee is still worth something, right? (Right?)

Katy Perry -- "Hot 'N' Cold" -- Katy Perry pulled off an impressive feat in her "Hot 'N" Cold" video; she managed to wear short-shorts in just about EVERY scene, including the scene where she tears off her wedding dress to reveal a hidden pair of white short-shorts -- which wind up being the perfect thing to wear while chasing her wayward groom down the street. And walking a zebra, obvs.

Britney Spears -- "Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know" -- I won't let YOU be the last to know that at NO point in her 2001 "Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know" beach video, directed by the late Herb Ritts (he also directed Madonna's "Cherish" and Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" videos) does Britney wear pants at ALL. In just a bikini top and a pair of I-can't-believe-they're-not-drawers cut-off shorts, Britney rolls around in the sand with French model Brice Durand. The video resulted in a TRL #1 hit for Britney, as well as what was probably a LOT of sand stuck inside dark, uncomfortable places.

Christina Aguilera -- "Can't Hold Us Down" -- Christina Aguilera rocked an extreme... ly short pair of pink ones in her 2003 video, "Can't Hold Us Down." But what Christina lacked in shorts she made up for with old-school knee-high tube socks. True to the named Stripped -- Christina's 2002 album which featured "Can't Hold Us Down" -- Lil' Kim, who guested on the track and co-stars in the video -- puts Christina's short-shorts to shame when she throws open her robe and reveals little more than a teeny weeny bikini. And a superfluous belt. She's subtle, that Kim!

Beyonce -- "Crazy In Love" -- In her 2003 "Crazy In Love" video, featuring Jay-Z, Beyonce wears a pair of barely there denim short-shorts. And my guess is that her choreographer stuffed the pockets of said shorts with fire ants because Beyonce writhes around on the ground, spazzes out, and almost twerks her way out of those shorts for nearly the entire duration of the time she spends in them. "Crazy In Love" won three 2003 VMAs (the VMAs where Britney and Madonna made out!) by the way -- Best R&B Video, Best Choreography, and Best Female Video.

Keri Hilson -- "Knock You Down" -- Keri Hilson looks like she frequently skips dessert and never skips a workout. Plus, if you've seen her "Energy" video, then you're fully aware that she's a lady boxer. (Plus, she shleps around a CRAPload of nail polish everywhere she goes.) Therefore her short-shorts are practically a necessity.

Vanessa Hudgens -- "Sneakernight" -- Which did you notice first in Vanessa Hudgens' "Sneakernight" video? Vanessa's light-up sneakers, or her micro-mini super-duper short-shorts? Or the fact that "Sneakernight" sounds exactly like Nikka Costa's "Like A Feather"?

++ Check out more celebs in short-shorts and classic short-shorts videos after the jump!

Read more...

+ Daughtry fans will no doubt be ecstatic to hear the debut of "No Surprise," their first single off the follow-up to their quadruple-platinum debut, on next week's American Idol. (Daughtry Official)

+ Further proving his heterosexuality, Kanye "I'm Not Gay" West was just voted the best dressed rapper of all time by Complex Magazine. You go, girl! (Complex.com)

+ Paula Abdul recounts firsthand how she was tricked into a wacky interview with "Bruno," Sacha Baron Cohen's character from the forthcoming movie of the same name. Come on, Paula. You thought you won "Artist of the Year" in Germany? Really?? (Celebitchy)

+ No Doubt is back in action and kicked of the TODAY show's Summer Concert Series with a live performance of "Spiderwebs." Gwen Stefani looks amazing, per usual. (PopCrunch)

+ Nas and Kelis have announced that they are getting a divorce. This seems like perfect timing since she is like SEVEN months preggers. WTF?? (MTV News)

+ Man, our minds are just getting BLOWN on this dreary Friday... Kelly McGillis (the hot blonde from Top Gun) has just announced she is a LEZBOT?? Talk to me, Goose. Did she catch the "Tom Cruise?" We hear it's a very serious contagion -- even more serious than that Piggy Flu that's been blowin' 'round! (SheWired)

+ Lady GaGa has been touring the world relentlessly since the summer of last year and has now been ordered by record bosses to take the entire month of August off. Time to give the hair bows (not hairbows, but bows made of hair) and umbrellas a break, Lady. (Amy Grindhouse)

You hear all the time about how hard the latest rapper is -- come up from the projects of Queens (50), the streets of L.A. (Game), the suburbs of Pennsylvania (Asher Roth!), or some such undesirable place. K'Naan grew up in The Lake Of Blood (aka Wardhiigleey), a district of Mogadishu only a stone's throw from the heart of the Somali Civil War. He also did a Nelly Furtado collab. Tough.

The Somali MC, who learned English from Nas and Rakim CDs sent back by his New York City cab-driving dad, isn't afraid to rub his individuality in your face (Bundle up my whole style is so cold/ I glow like old guys who go bald/ My flow got no front in the vocal/ Your flow got no button it's so old!). But he's more interested in spreading positive politics and educating through entertainment. Look:

I'm from the most risky zone - oh/ No place is more shifty global/ More pistols, Russian revolvers/ We shootin' all that is normal.But it ain't just because we want to/ We ain't got nowhere we can run to /Somebody please press the undo/ They only teach us the things that guns do.

Listen close and learn the new global "ABC's" the same way K'Naan (whose name means Traveler) did: through hip-hop.

+ Newsflash: the New Kids on the Block booze cruise is almost sold out! So if you wanna hit the poop deck for some shuffleboard with Joey McIntyre, you'd better act fast. Buzzworthy bonus: Watch four interviews with Jordan and Donnie and get an extremely long-winded review of an NKOTB MSG concert. (Rose Tours)

+ Perez Hilton to Aubrey O'Day: "Good luck with your 'career.'" (MTV News)

+ Bad news, Bella fans. The new Twilight perfume may be pulled off the market faster than you can say "EdwardCullen4EvrNoRly4real4evr." (TrendHunter)

+ Diddy still remembers the day he said goodbye to his friend, Biggie Smalls. We still remember the day he turned that other day into a bestselling single called "I'll be Missing You." Oh, the nostalgia ... (MTV Movies)

+ April showers bring May flowers -- and, apparently, Fall Out Boy! Come springtime, the FOB will hit the road with friendzies All Time Low, Cobra Starship and Hey Monday. (FriendsorEnemies)

+ The Real World: Brooklyn cast dropped by to share their reactions to last night show! Sadly, Chet (i.e. THE-METROSEXUAL-MORMON-VIRGIN-WHO-LIKES-TO-PLAY-PRANKS-AND-WEAR-GUYLINER) couldn't make it. (Remote Control)

+ Joe Jonas has this thing for dating his costars. (See: Taylor Swift and, more recently, Camilla Belle). So how can he avoid catching the "Lovebug?" "Just put boys in [your] videos from now on," suggests Selena Gomez. Ha! But seriously, yeah. (Usmagazine.com)

+ Joe Jonas also knows the secret to killing time, and it has everything to do with a baseball bat! (Popstar!)

+ Kelis and Nas are expecting a mini milkshake! (Usmagazine.com)

+ Dysfunctional as the Osbourne family might be, Sharon did not, in fact, try and kill her husband, Ozzy. And if you say otherwise, she'll sue. (E! Online)