The subject of my girl Jessica Simpson is not the most cheery for me right now... That said, this vintage TRL video temporarily sent me to a happy place. First off, Jessica's outfit will put a smile on your face; I had to hit pause just to savor the image. I mean... just watch it. The glittery pink eye shadow, the crimped hair, the leather pants... what a difference nine years makes.

Yes, it was a simpler time, a happier time, when Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson were still together. While the duet of "Where You Are" from Jessica's 1999 debut, Sweet Kisses, showcases Jessica's fantastic voice (she also knows to turn her head before a belt, sparing Nick's eardrums), my happy moment was short-lived.

Why can't it just be like this again? Vanessa's gone; Tony's gone; John Mayer's gone (wait -- Mayer might not be gone; did you hear that rumor?), so couldn't Nick and Jessica offer each other the perfect comfort? So say her Tweets, Jessica's just sleeping with her mom and dogs and listening to Olivia Broadfield songs right now. Help her! Let the rumors of a reconciliation be true...

Watch the duet from the good ol' days below, intro-ed by a "lonely and untalented" Carson Daly.

+ For all two people who haven't heard this devastating news, darling dollface David Archuleta's DAD (who is also a MORMON, in case you forgot) was busted for soliciting prostitution at a massage parlor in Utah. <using our spa voices>: P.S. —  Looks like he got a "happy ending" too.  This makes up for anything our parents never got us for Christmas. (MTV News)

+ Guess who's gracing the cover of Elle magazine's July music issue: none other than the always lovely and forever glamorous Gwen Stefani. Va va va VOOM! (Popbytes)

+ Miley Cyrus was out for a little seafood dinner when she gave an impromptu performance, much to the crowd's surprise! They begged for more, but she made her exit after two songs. (E! Online)

+ Jack White hates MySpace and wants you to go to the record store and buy his friggin' vinyl... (The Tripwire)

+ ...which is probably a good idea since MySpace just laid off like 400 people (about 30% of its workforce). YIKES! Think I should cancel that interview I have next week? (All Things Digital)

+ Nick Lachey says he's never heard unlikely singer Susan Boyle actually sing. Hm. Sounds like Nick needs to take a trip on them Interwebs those lazy crazy kids are usin' these days. (US Magazine)

Female folk-pop fans -- Mandy Moore, Yael Naim, Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson, Brandi Carlile (you know = "smart-girl songwriters") -- please assure me that the tremendously talented Amie Miriello is already on your radar. Yes? Good. Did we not tell you about her back in August, right before she released her album, I Came Around? Indeed we did.

So, Amie Miriello just released a brand-new video entitled... "Brand New," directed by Chris Berkenkamp, and it's an artful series of summer snapshots and memories wrapped around a hypnotically sensual chorus that'll make you yearn for a couple of reckless summer flings, no matter how dysfunctional. And yes, that is Nick Lachey.

(Oh yeah, and David Archuleta fans -- Amie's on Team Archie too since they toured together earlier this year. But you knew that.)

I made it preeeettty clear that Jonas Brothers: The 3D Experience is the ultimate Jonas fan experience. But what did you think? Better than you expected? Not as good as Miley in 3D? Better than THE GODFATHER? Tell me what you thought in the comments!

Atlanta fans? Everyone down in North Carolina? My sisters over at the Palisades Mall? Vegas? Did you have an actual Jonas spotting!?!?!?

And read the Jonas Brothers' post-jet-setting update, and, because it's kinda funny, watch "Sunglasses At Night." (Doesn't Corey Hart sorta look like Nick Lachey? No? I'm by myself here?)

You THOUGHT 2008 was the year of the gentleman, which it is if you're Ne-Yo. And it's also the year of the election, if you hadn't heard about that rarely-discussed little news nug. And it's the 25th anniversary of Cabbage Patch Kids -- those lovable little dolls born of an otherwise-reviled veggie, with a sparkle in their eyes, and a John Hancock on their bums. The ones that caused 'bows-throwin' frenzies at toy stores across the country, if you're old enough to remember cray-cray moms getting clocked in the grill during Cabbage Patch stampedes.

And while it's been 25 years since the first Cabbage Patch Kiddie sprouted, it's also been four years since Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (at that point still a couple) got the CPK treatment and were forever immortalized, for better or for worse, in the Celebrity CPK collection.

It's also been almost TEN years since Nick and Jess made sweet, sweet musical love in the woods, on a carousel, and in a diner in their "Where You Are" video, which you totally forgot about until now, didn't you?

Oh yeah, my source at Cabbage Patch HQ (who has an actual cabbage for a head), tells me that some new celeb Cabbage Patch Kids are in the works. Perhaps they're planting the seed for your very own little squeezable Tony Romo? Or a non-threatening Katy Perry doll? Also, is it unhealthy that I kinda miss the Chicken Of the Sea-era Jess and Nick? It is, isn't it?