Tomorrow, as the Jonasphere well knows, the Jonas Brothers will release their new "Paranoid" video, off their upcoming Lines, Vines And Trying Times album. (I've seen the video, and I could tell you all about it, but I'd get dragged off to MTV prison, which is in the basement of 1515 Broadway and consists of the "Ice Ice Baby" master tape, an empty Real World hot tub, and the ghost of Domenico from That's Amore!)

Anyway, "Paranoid," as the title suggests, is all about the full-on freak-outs that ensue from mental moments and major mind games. But the Jonas Brothers aren't the first ones to tread such psychological territory. Kanye West, The Clipse, Black Sabbath, The Avett Brothers all have published musical material on the topic of paranoia. However, we came up with five of our favorite paranoia-inducing videos below. Read on, won't you?

1.) Rockwell -- "Somebody's Watching Me" -- The granddaddy of all paranoia songs and videos is by '80s one-hit-wonder generator Rockwell, who's also the son of  Motown founder Berry Gordy. The 1983 single is still a classic (you've heard an updated version of it in that Geico ad), and yes, that's Michael Jackson on the hook. But bro, if you think your dog is turning into a pig, then I cannot help you. Also, if you turn on your shower and blood comes out instead of water, you need to call a plumber. Oh yeah -- unsurprisingly, Rockwell also had a song called "Obscene Phone Caller." (Ask your parents about the olden days before caller ID.) + Watch the old-school "Pop-Up Video" version of "Somebody's Watching Me."

2.) Radiohead -- "Paranoid Android" -- Most Radiohead songs are chilling enough to leave you rocking back and forth in the fetal position in a dark corner for a fortnight. But Radiohead's video for "Paranoid Android" makes paranoia look at least a little cute in a Beavis & Butthead sorta way! Watch for a mouse and a rat going at it in the pet store, two guys doing it in an alley, and a cartoon cameo by the band in the bar... right about when a teratoma comes out of a dude's stomach. Cute! + Watch the "Paranoid Android" video.

3.) Geto Boys -- "Mind Playin' Tricks On Me" -- If you slept on this 1991 hip-hop staple, then WAKE UP. (You're excused if you weren't born yet.) Both the song and video detail hip-hop life before ringtones and Rocawear. The lyrics say it right there: "I'm paranoid, sleeping with my finger on the trigger," and the video is a pretty literal interpretation of the psychological fear caused by gangs and drug warfare. "Mind Playin' Tricks On Me" has been sampled, referenced, and/or cited by Biggie, Outkast, and The Game, to name a few, and while the video's a bit grainy, it's still an underground classic. + Watch the "Mind Playin' Tricks On Me" video.

4.) Garbage -- "I Think I'm Paranoid" -- Director/photographer Matthew Rolston directed the video for Garbage's 1998 single, "I Think I'm Paranoid." (Miley fans, he also directed "The Climb.") And while the black-and-white video appears straightforward (the band is trapped in a box!), it was actually inspired by the Beatles' 1963 With The Beatles album cover. Oh, and Shirley Manson looking amazing, as usual, but no surprises there. + Watch the "I Think I'm Paranoid" video.

5.) Rihanna -- "Disturbia" -- In Rihanna's "Disturbia" video, obsession manifests itself in freaky-deaky tarantulas, wigs, wolves, and a creepy dude in an eye patch. And S&M-y corsets. Paranoia never looked so supernaturally sexy! + Watch the "Disturbia" video | Watch Rihanna's "Disturbia"/"Seven Nation Army" performance from the 2008 VMAs.

Remember when Biggie did "One More Chance?" Back in '95 it was the monster jam with Mary J. Blige and Biggie's wife-to-be Faith Evans on the hook. To match its monster-jamness, Biggie enlisted the man, Hype Williams, to direct the video, and called on a whole posse of talent to star. By the time the project wrapped, it included appearances by Heavy D, Da Brat, Jermaine Dupri, Queen Latifah, Tyson Beckford, Aaliyah, Diddy and TONS of others. The all-starred-ness of "One More Chance" was then pretty much unprecedented (unless you're a HUGE Chevy Chase fan).

Is it obvious yet what all this jibba jabba is leading up to? Let's just say it: Jamie Foxx went and made a video so fly, so celebbed out, that even Biggie, on his golden hip-hop throne up thur in the sky, can't touch it.

"Blame It," also directed by Hype Williams, includes performances by Ron Howard, Jake Gyllenhaal, T-Pain, Forest Whitaker, Samuel Jackson, Quincy Jones, Morris Chestnut, Tatyana Ali, Cedric The Entertainer, and more, making it officially the biggest video you ever even heard of. Sorry, Jared Leto. Sorry, Kanye. Thi$ i$ it.

I stopped into the Times Square Virgin Megastore this morning on my way to work to pick up the Incredibad album (yes, I actually still buy albums and still call them "albums" too), and aside from the fact that this location -- the one where the Jonas Brothers fought their way through massive midnight crowds to buy A Little Bit Longer this past August -- a scene you'll see AND LOVE in Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience -- is closing (thanks, INTERNET!) to make way for a MASSIVE Forever 21.

Anyway, EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE STORE IS PRICED TO MOVE, PEOPLE, as the garish orange signs will not allow you to forget for a second. But propped up against the wall in the very back of the store I found the saddest for-sale item -- this $29.00 Notorious B.I.G. doll, marked down an additional 20% off.

Seriously, buy the jokey penis books and "Guitar Hero" keychains and stuff, but not taking Biggie and leaving him here all by himself like this is like killing him all over again. Biggie, Mama's comin' for you! We're still missing you!

+ Vintage video: Diddy, Faith Evans, 112 & Sting remember Biggie at the 1997 VMAs with "Mo Money, Mo Problems / I'll Be Missing You (Live)." (This is one of all-time favorite VMA moments.)

+ In her upcoming memoir Miles to Go (and is there a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g this girl can't do?), Miley Cyrus clears up any "weirdness" rumors regarding her relationship with her dad Billy Ray: "For me, my dad is not weird at all." (D Listed)

+ Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are already taking their PTA responsibilities pretty seriously: Baby numero dos is on the way! (Us Magazine)

+ We think Jessica Simpson looks gorge! But, uhm, Richard Simmons kinda compared her to his 268-pound former fat self... AND is "praying for her." OUCH. (The Superficial)

+ We are srsly loving these vintage high school pics of Lady Gaga from waaay before she discovered lavender lipstick or Minnie Mouse hair bows. (Perez Hilton)

+ Katy Perry performed her single "Thinking Of You" at the Echo Awards this weekend in Germany, and ZOMG! KP Unplugged totally killed it! (Showbiz News)

+ After Shaquille O'Neil (@The_Real_Shaq) and Notorious B.I.G (@NotoriousBIG), our fave Twitter celeb is MC Hammer. He really kinda rules. Which is why we're so stoked that the dude just got his own reality show on A&E called (wait for it....): Hammertime! (Evil Beet)

+ If, like us, you've never *quite* been able to get over the awesomeness that was Michael Jackson's Off the Wall album, you will probably be pretty psyched to hear that the gloved/masked one might be doing a bunch of concerts this summer in London. If you're like everyone else on the planet and don't give a crap, you probably just wanna get back to your Miley Cyrus memoir... right... now. (Fafarazzi)

+ Is Chris Brown trying to win Rihanna back? With jewelry? (Seriously, dude?) (Hip-hop Chronicle)

+ We had never heard of Ahmir before, but this R&B remake of Britney Spear's "Womanizer" is made of pure awesomeness. (Poor Britney)

Despite the fact that most everyone is in a pretty "yes we can"-ish mood as of late, a few of our fave celebs are bucking the trend and rocking more of a "oh no you di'int" tude. Not surprisingly, this has resulted in a whole mess of feuds amongst the glittery glam.

Personally, we're more of the "make love, not war" frame of mind, but OF COURSE we still want to give you guys the real-deal scoop. Thus, herewith are a few of our favorite famous feuds:

+ Lil' Kim vs. Voletta Wallace: Bad girl rapper Lil Kim was none too pleased with the way she was portrayed in the recent biopic, Notorious -- the movie about her former lover and mentor Notorious B.I.G. Biggie's Mamz Voletta co-produced the movie and didn't really give a rat's ass that Lil Kim wasn't likin' it. In fact, she basically told her she could go shove it: "Tell Lil' Kim to go find herself, go drink a cup of green tea and get a life!" Ouch.

+ 50 Cent vs. Mostly everyone (except for Eminem): A better question might be who ISN'T 50 Cent feuding with? So far, he's got beef with: Kanye West, Oprah Winfrey, Young Buck, Lil Wayne, Ja Rule, Rick Ross, and ??? (TBD).

+ Jay-Z vs. Chris Brown: Recall that Jay-Z discovered Rihanna, so it's not surprising that Hov's reportedly verrrry, verrry angry about the recent nastiness that went down between Rihanna and Chris Brown. The rapper has allegedly said of Brown that he's basically "a dead man walking." Y-I-K-E-S.

+ Lily Allen vs. Perez Hilton: This feud has reached a fever pitch over the last week or so, and it's all going down in the Twitterverse. These two crazy kiddos do NOT seem to like each other very much. Lily Allen to Perez: you're a "jealous and bitter lonely old queen." Perez to Lily: "Congrats on your album doing well in America, though. It's REALLY HARD to sell copies when u discount it to $3.99. Desperate!" Meow!

+ Kanye West vs. HIS KEYBOARD CAPS LOCK: Kanye has had a long and well-documented battle with his CAPS LOCK key... and he pretty much always beats that marfar into submission. If you've ever visited the Martin Luther Louis Vuitton Don's blog, you've likely been privy to some of his ALL-CAPS RANTS!!!!1!! They really are a work of art and so, ok fine, we hope this feud goes on 4evs. But everyone else, where is the love?

So, I just interviewed Jadakiss -- dude was hilarious, and I'll have the interview for you soon -- but while we were waiting in the green room for the shooter to finish setting up the camera, this song came on the TV, which was playing MTV Jams: "Over And Over" by Nelly, featuring Tim McGraw, which was an unlikely but amazing pairing. It's the smoothest cold-weather throw-back track (all the way back to 2004!) I totally forgot about but am SO glad is now totally on replay in my personal rotation.

Jadakiss turned it up and started singing along, and soon we were joking around about how we'd have that song stuck in our heads "over and over and over" until something else unforgettable comes along to replace it. (Like something off 'Kiss' upcoming album, The Last Kiss, or Jadakiss' "Letter to B.I.G." Shout out to the Coogi sweater!)

Have you read this gossip that Michael Jackson has approached a Broadway production company in hopes of translating his musical career -- specifically Thriller -- into a musical? Obviously cruel jokes are already forming in your head, but that's just because you're super immature. Just kidding. They're in my head too. But for once, let's take the high road and think about this instead: Who else's music/life is fit for a musical? Weirdly enough, I have a few ideas...

First of all, I don't care if they're too new to draw a crowd, or too indie for a scandal. I don't care if their music is antiseptic and intellectual. Hell, I don't even care if the musical is about them. If there was a play called Vampire Weekend, that's a play that I would definitely attend. You?

Going a more substantive route, recent hip-hop offers endless possibilities. If Notorious can be a movie, certainly it can be a musical (sooorry Lil' Kim :-/). Also, Beyonce's latest, I Am... Sasha Fierce, begs for a showstopping dance number, a dream sequence and a subplot involving a ring of lady spies. And speaking of dream sequence, Kanye's epic, auto-tuned bum-out 808s & Heartbreak is practically already set for Broadway. So much drama!

Finally, the worst idea ever: How about Katy Perry uses her big... name to take on Broadway AND global warming with a charmingly choreographed musical called Hot & Cold? Are you puking? Do you have any better ideas? David Archuleta: 'Wicked' Cute? Comment!

+ A Charlie's Angels 3 producer says she'd love for Rihanna to join the feathered-hair trio this time around. Meanwhile, Drew Barrymore claims she's more interested in having a foursome with Penelope Cruz. (Wambie)

+ Paris Hilton and Scarlett Johansson aren't the only celebs who decided to try their hand at "singing." Relive the train wreck-y amazingness of Eddie Murphy's high-pitched warbling with this collection of actors who shouldn't quit their day jobs. (Details Blog)

+ And speaking of crossover ventures, singer/ glittery princess Taylor Swift has announced that she'll be launching her own Wal-Mart clothing line (a la Olsens!). (LimeLife)

+ Audrina Patridge says she and Justin Bobby have called it quits! Again! Hey, wonder if this means she's taken off that saliva-drenched promise ring once and for all... (Remote Control)

+ Biggie Smalls' mom refuses to let her feud with Lil' Kim die down. Her latest message for the once-incarcerated rapper? "Tell [Kim] to find herself, go drink a cup of green tea and get a life." (MTV News)

+ Since getting dumped by Kate Moss, Pete Doherty has stayed true to himself and his goals of going through life... as a crazy cat person who enjoys writing on the walls (like Will Hunting, except in blood!) and long walks on the beach drinking. (Scandalist)

+ President Barack Obama busts a move to Beyonce's "Single Ladies," but refuses to don Justin Timberlake's stretch leotard. (MTV News)

+ Meanwhile, Macy Gray denies (self-perpetuated?) rumors that she is in love with Barack and wants to go all Single Black Female on Michelle. (OMG! Yahoo)

+ Jessica Simpson steps out in public, pretends Everyone In The World isn't mentally obsessing about her BMI. (Usmagazine)

In case you're not caught up on all the Kanye West news you can use, 'Ye launched a  Louis Vuitton footwear collection, he's not doing bi-porn -- a message he delivered in another ALL-CAPS blog rant -- and he may or may not be the Tokin' Black Guy. But, most ridiculously, Kanye's decided to change his name to Martin Louis The King, Jr.

First of all, WTF?

Second of all, for the love of GAWD, can someone puhleez explain to me why some hip-hop artists...
+ Each have like 648 names?
+ Change their names allll theeee timmmme?

Observe:
+ Lil Wayne is known as: Lil and Wayne (fair enough); Weezy, Weez and Weezy F. Baby.
+ Diddy: Formerly Puff Daddy, formerly Puff/Puffy, formerly P. Diddy, AKA Sean John.
+ Kanye: Yeezy, Yeez, Louis Vuitton Don, Pee Wee ('kay, that one was ours), and now Martin Louis The King, Jr.
+ Notorious B.I.G.: also known as Biggie, Biggie Smalls, Big Poppa, Notorious, Christopher and now Twitter Biggie (ok, that one is ours too).
+ Jay-Z: Jigga, H.O.V.A., Jazzy, Shawn, Mr. Carter.

It's like, I gotta make some flashcards or a spreadsheet just to keep track of everyone.

So to the hip-hop community at large (you too, Madonna, before you try to dump yet another Biblical reinvention on us again), a simple plea: Can we all agree that TWO is the max number of names you can work with?

And can we also agree that helping design a pair of red shoes (and it's not like he even COBBLED them together or sewed them by hand!) does NOT give you the right to equate yourself with one of the greatest civil rights leaders ever born? And an assassinated one, at that?

A message from kwest on Vimeo.

+ The "We Are One" all-star concert at the Lincoln Memorial yesterday afternoon kicked off a week of Inaugural celebrations. Beyonce, U2, Bruce Springsteen, Usher, John Legend, Mary J. Blige, Stevie Wonder, will.i.am, and others were on hand to say YES WE CAN. (MTV News)

+ As we reported, Beyonce will be singing a super secret song at the Inaugural Ball tomorrow night when President and Michelle Obama take the dance floor. Only Beyonce isn't so good at keeping secrets. (Pssst: it's "At Last" by Etta James). (D-Listed)

+ Dear Miley Cyrus (and Emily Osment!): We are officially BEYOND psyched for your new Hannah Montana movie. LYLAS, Buzzworthy. (Disney Society)

+ A naked pic of Madonna from 1979 is up for auction, and let's just say that the J. Sisters could use this puppy as a killer "before" shot if they were so inclined. (Gawker)

+ Speaking of Madge, she's not really stressin' this whole recession sitch too much: She was just named the #1 Top 10 earner of 2008. Other richie riches rounding out the list include the Jonas Brothers (never heard of 'em. You?) and Coldplay. (LA Times)

+ Lady Gaga brings new meaning to the term "fit to be tied." And also "absolutely insane hair bow." (The Superficial)

+ For your consideration: example #1,456 that some people's Jonas Brothers love/ OJD goes a leetle too far: undies snatchin'. (Websters Is My B****)

+ Notorious, the biopic about legendary rapper Notorious B.I.G., opened at No. 4 at the box office this weekend. No word on whether the sale of Coogi sweaters have been affected. (MTV Movies Blog)

+ Go ahead and add "gourmet chef" to Jessica Simpson's growing resume: the pop singer/reality star/actres/ country singer's recipes for banana breakfast fruit smoothies and no-fat broccoli and cherry tomatoes appear in the 2008 Dallas Cowboy wives Family Cookbook, eventhough she's... uhm... not technically Tony Romo's wife (or fiancé even). Awww! Remember when she didn't even know what tuna is? (NYDN)