In this Tweet Toon -- our rolling series of celeb tweets rendered as cartoons using Bitstrip -- We find Sara Bareilles out engaging in some retail therapy when she feels herself overtaken by the holy spirit of ousted American Idol judge Paula Abdul. The need to dance ensued.

+ We're having (slightly nightmarish) flashbacks to our uber-Christian, ultra-conservative childhood after stumbling upon this gem, a duet with gospel group Mary Mary and R&B songmaster Ne-Yo. (Rap-Up)

+ Celebrity Twitter fights are fun for the whole family, especially when they're brought to you by parenting gurus Travis Barker and Shanna Moakler. (Evil Beet Gossip)

+ If you haven't seen the VMA promos that MTV has been running for this year (the full-length West Side Story-themed ones that feature Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Cobra Starship, Leighton Meester, and Russell Brand all singing their own verses...) then stop what you're doing right now (unless you're searching YouTube looking for fan vids of Britney's performance last night at MSG like we've been doing all morning) and WATCH the full length version here!

+ Oh -- and how cute are Katy and Taylor having dinner together the other night in England?? (Socialite Life)

+ It was just announced today that Paula Abdul's first post-Idol gig will be hosting VH1 Divas later this month, which will star Adele, Kelly Clarkson, Leona Lewis and more. (Pop on the Pop)

+ And in case you missed yesterday's totally fun NYC scavenger hunt hosted by Britney via Twitter, check this out! (Perez Hilton)

+ File this one away in the "Whitney, what were you thinking?" category: Until the August 31 street release date, Whitney Houston is leaking her entire brand-new CD on, QVC.com??????

+ Logo's The Big Gay Sketch Show has given Paula Abdul the proper American Idol send-off montage. (LogoOnline)

+ Lady Gaga nipple slip -- who wants it? And are you sure? (Drunken Stepfather)

+ And only because she's one of our favorite models of our time, here's Linda Evangelista doing W magazine. (Socialite Life)

+ The Beastie Boys' Adam Yauch is doing better after surgery to treat his cancer.  Thanks for asking. (Rolling Stone)

+ Hey, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler! Walk this way! No, no! Not THAT way!! (Dude fell off the stage backwards last night at a show in South Dakota, dontcha know). Word on the street is that he sustained minor injuries to his head, neck, and shoulder (translation: lips). Get better, Stevie! (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

+ Ricky Martin has finally stopped shaking his bon bon long enough to join the Twitterverse. AY YI YI! (OHLALA)

+ SO amazing. Lauren Conrad and the rest of her Hills friends have been immortalized in pastels and are hanging in some art gallery in Vancouver. And it's even the really good shot of Lauren with mascara streaming down her face. You know, from that one time when she cried? (Pretty Boring)

HEY, Paula Abdul fans. With the fate of Paula's future on American Idol slightly uncertain -- she's leaving! she's staying! She's hot! She's cold! This is starting to feel more and more like a Katy Perry song! -- one thing that's straight-up certain is that Paula just added some pieces of sparkle to her Home Shopping Network "Forever Your Girl" collection of jewelry and accessories.

And while Paula's February 2009 appearance on the Home Shopping Network was, um, pitchy, to say the least, she's going live on again on July 31 with new stuff.

All of Paula Abdul's HSN jewelry is under $100, and God knows it's (arguably) better than spending your money on Scrunchies, Ed Hardy tees, or Lindsay Lohan's Sevin Nyne tanner. However, Paula's jewelry may cause slurring, purring, "knowingness,"  your eyes to reorbit in their head, dancing like there's no tomorrow, and/or the overwhelming urge to grab David Archuleta and squish him, squeeze his head off, and dangle him from your rear-view mirror, and possible Corey Clark drama.

Check out photos of Paula Abdul's new HSN jewelry -- there's a silvery starburst, a cuff that looks like asphalt, and... the very sparkly thing below that I'm uncertain about -- and tell me: Would you wear Paula Abdul's jewelry?

+ Check out more photos of Paula Abdul's HSN jewelry collection after the jump.
Read more...

The hair in this video is gonna blow your mind. Apparently mullets and Pomeranian shags were totally normal in 1988. Anyway, on to the point...

Long before she was making jaws drop with her "strange behavior" on American Idol, Forever Your Girl-era Paula Abdul dropped this bomb on a mull-icious MTV interviewer back in 1988: Michael "Balboa" Bolton used to be her babysitter!

Bolton doesn't appear in the interview, because had his mane been added to the mix, your face would melt from the sheer hairpower.

Among the interview's (Jerry Seinfeld?) revelations is the fact that Bolton, one of the whitest dudes of all time, can apparently really "shake a leg." Can you believe that? It's almost as shocking as the fact that Michael Bolton was a card-carrying member of the Babysitters' Club! Get the whole story from Paula herself, in the incredible MTV vintage video below!

+ Forget about Skipper or Teenage Prom Maxi. Who needs those shallow plastics when you can have your very own PLUS-size Beth Ditto doll complete with Victoria Principal bob and blue eyeshadow?! (The Frisky)

+ Lady GaGa's "Lovegame" video has been out for a while, but here's some pretty cool behind-the-scenes footage from the set. (Towleroad)

+ Yesterday, it was the girl from the "Thriller" video claiming she's owed royalties. Today, it's his old publicist. How many hundreds upon thousands of people will continue to sue ole frail-n-pale Michael Jackson before SOMEone, ANYone realizes that he DOESN'T. HAVE. ANY. MONEY?!?! (MTV News)

+ Solange Knowles has been tagging along with sister Beyonce on her I Am tour, singing at special afterparties and the like. Here she covers (perfectly and uniquely) Bjork's "It's Oh So Quiet." (Neon Limelight)

+ In case you're wondering what Katy Perry would look like as a midge, here you go! (Best Week Ever)

+ As cheesy as she may be, you have to give Paula Abdul some credit for turning it out on last night's American Idol. She was a'jumpin' and a'flippin' and a'whippin' that mic stand around like a rag doll, all while in 5" heels. Our favorite part was when she gets flipped over that guy like when Britney goes flying through the air in "Oops...I Did It Again." You know the part? You know the part. (Pop On The Pop)

+ Thursday LOLz courtesy of your favorite pint-sized rapper Lil Kim, who danced up on Regis Philbin during yesterday's Live With Regis And Kelly. (Rap-Up)

+ Daughtry fans will no doubt be ecstatic to hear the debut of "No Surprise," their first single off the follow-up to their quadruple-platinum debut, on next week's American Idol. (Daughtry Official)

+ Further proving his heterosexuality, Kanye "I'm Not Gay" West was just voted the best dressed rapper of all time by Complex Magazine. You go, girl! (Complex.com)

+ Paula Abdul recounts firsthand how she was tricked into a wacky interview with "Bruno," Sacha Baron Cohen's character from the forthcoming movie of the same name. Come on, Paula. You thought you won "Artist of the Year" in Germany? Really?? (Celebitchy)

+ No Doubt is back in action and kicked of the TODAY show's Summer Concert Series with a live performance of "Spiderwebs." Gwen Stefani looks amazing, per usual. (PopCrunch)

+ Nas and Kelis have announced that they are getting a divorce. This seems like perfect timing since she is like SEVEN months preggers. WTF?? (MTV News)

+ Man, our minds are just getting BLOWN on this dreary Friday... Kelly McGillis (the hot blonde from Top Gun) has just announced she is a LEZBOT?? Talk to me, Goose. Did she catch the "Tom Cruise?" We hear it's a very serious contagion -- even more serious than that Piggy Flu that's been blowin' 'round! (SheWired)

+ Lady GaGa has been touring the world relentlessly since the summer of last year and has now been ordered by record bosses to take the entire month of August off. Time to give the hair bows (not hairbows, but bows made of hair) and umbrellas a break, Lady. (Amy Grindhouse)

Saturday night was Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards 2009, also known as THE NIGHT JOE JONAS REVEALED HIS NEW HAIRCUT! But other things happened too! And instead of just TALKING about them, let's LOOK AT THE PHOTOS, shall we?

Miley Cyrus won Favorite Female Singer, and she cried. And cried. And cried. She cried so much she became Cryly Cyrus. Cyley Crylus even! I don't remember if she thanked Jesus, but she was super verklempt and definitely thanked her fans. And cried some more. She managed to do it in a classy way. Like, her face wasn't all full of bawly snot or anything. Congrats, Miley!

Archidorable McArchipants David Archuleta, fresh off the U.S. leg of his tour, accepted the Favorite Reality Show award on behalf of American Idol along with Paula Abdul, who OF COURSE interrupted him AND scared the crap out of me in what looked like costume castaways from a performance of "Disturbia." (Seriously, what WAS that?)

I was traumatized.

Jesse McCartney won Favorite Male Singer, and while the "How Do You Sleep" remix with Ludacris is totally hot, Jesse also won Buzzworthy's unofficial Worst Glasses Award for those Transitions lenses. Sad panda, dude.

Demi Lovato was an absolute golden GODDESS. She was dressed up without looking OVERLY made-up. And her amazing gold metallic dress is an Ina Soltani, if you're taking notes, and her heels are YSL.

I included this photo of Josh Peck because I have a total crush on him. I'm pretty sure he was sending secret eye signals to me through the TV and telling me he wants to run away with me. I'm positive.

And, finally, here it is, your moment of Zen -- Best Music Group winners the Jonas Brothers and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in a loin cloth or something, all wet and slimy and mens-like -- which is going to push me into therapy... or an early grave...

+ Get the complete list of Kids' Choice Awards 2009 winners, and check out KCA red carpet photos and behind-the-scenes photos of the Jonas Brothers, David Archuleta, Miranda Cosgrove and more KCA stars both slimed and unscathed!

+ You'd think Amy Winehouse minus the booze would be a good thing. But experts say Duffy's lack of trainwreckiness could actually be her downfall. "She doesn't have the problems that make her so compelling," sez one industry insider. And, more importantly? "[S]he's not in the tabloids." (MTV News)

+ Is Victoria Beckham vying to be the new, better-dressed Paula Abdul? (Scandalist)

+ Bruce Springsteen's Working On A Dream bumps Taylor Swift's Fearless out of the top spot on the Billboard chart. (Rolling Stone)

+ Penelope "Slim Shady" Cruz secretly karaokes to Eminem! (Usmagazine.com)

+ Kelly Clarkson denies sharing Katy Perry's views on kissing girls. (PopEater)

+ Need an energy boost? This Christian Bale mega-remix will have you bouncin' off the walls in no time. (Idolator)

+ Preternaturally pale person Marilyn Manson says his new album, The High End Of Low, is named after "a self-described state of being that I’m in." In other words? "It's the s--t." (NME)

+ Awww, our Double Shot at Love has finally ended! Say buh-bye to the bisexual Ikki twins, plus let us know whether Rikki got unfairly dissed and dismissed... for her sis! (Remote Control)

+ Kanye West, Lil Wayne and T.I. are at the top of Day26's "Dream Collabs-slash-Not Gonna Happen" list. (MTV News)

+ Sarcastic songstress Lily Allen says she's considering joining a nunnery! But her motives are sliiiiiightly less than pure: "I wouldn't do it for Jesus," Allen clarifies. "I would do it to see tabloid gossip people have zero to write about." (NY Post)

+ Meanwhile, fellow Brit Amy Winehouse was robbed! The singer reportedly lost $21,000 worth of property when her house was burglarized. Hmm, wonder how the perps knew she'd be out... (E! Online)

+ And in other Winehouse-related news, Amy (first name "If You Seek") will join The Killers and Franz Ferdinand in headlining Coachella! That is, assuming she doesn't miss her return flight/drink herself into oblivion first. (MTV News)

+ Taylor Swift is getting set to headline her own tour starting this April. Because that's what happens when you've had the #1 album for 8 WEEKS AND COUNTING. (MTV News)

+ Grab yer magnets! Rihanna sees Beyonce's robo-glove, raises her a gigundo prosthetic leg. (Neon Limelight)

+ Rapper 50 Cent releases a brand-new dis track targeting rap rival/former corrections officer Rick Ross. Among those unimpressed by the new song? You guessed it: Officer Ross. (MTV News)

+ Pete Wentz joins his wifey in defending Jessica Simpson and criticizing the mainstream media: "I think that the media puts too harsh of a spotlight on women in general, and I think it's a bummer," said the skinny jeans-wearing FOB. (Usmagazine.com)

+ Dawn Richard denies rumors that Diddy's breaking up DK and sez the Bad Boy is "devastated" by what's been happening. Devastated! (MTV News)

+ Paula Abdul flashback! Travel back to a time when she was less loopy -- but her outfits were completely insane. (Scandalist)