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There's no instrument on this earth mighty enough to measure the hype and buzz surrounding Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video. I mean, this is a video that's purported to be EVEN BIGGER THAN "Bad Romance." A video better than "Bad Romance"? Is that even legal? The thought of topping "Bad Romance" is almost too unfathomable for our pretty little brains. That said, we love a challenge. So here are five things we expect to see intonight's debut of Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video featuring Beyonce.

1. Lethal Weapon 5
Come on: Beyonce as the grizzled, too-old-for-this veteran. Gaga as the unstable but gifted upstart. We already know these girls like to play with guns and pay homage to other directors (see B's Quentin Tarantino-checking "Video Phone"), so let's go all the way. The world needs a new buddy cop franchise. Let's start right here.

2. Alexander Graham Bell
Don't really care if it's a Hall Of Presidents style, animatronic appearance or an Avatar-esque digital projection; this is the biggest thing to happen to the telephone since Luke Wilson started doing AT&T ads. We demand an appearance from the telephone's inventor, Alexander Graham Bell.

3. And While We're On The Subject Of Phones ...
Let's see a parade of 'em, please. Rotary phones, pay phones, the original cell phone from American Psycho, Michael Douglas' car phone from Wall Street, soup cans on strings, telegraph machines, Juno's hamburger phone. Let's celebrate communication, people!

4. A Surprise Reunion With All The Gals From The "Lady Marmalade" Video
Since we haven't been this excited for a music video gathering of women since the heady days of the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, we'd like to see Missy Elliot, Christina Aguilera and Lil' Kim join in on the fun.

5. A Cameo From God
What? You think our expectations are too high? What else is going to top "Bad Romance"?

Check out the Beyonce leg of this epic team-up, "Video Phone," below. "Telephone" premieres tonight!

Tags Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Quentin Tarantino, video