Ohhhh Rick Springfield. Dude. "Mate." Your new song, "What's Victoria's Secret" is, quite possibly, one of the crappiest songs we've heard in days, and we've listened to A LOT of crappy songs since Monday. The fact that you refer to the title's elusive female as just "woman" (paging Ike Turner!) is one massive misstep, but you've also failed to convince us that "secret" and "weakness" rhyme (they do not), plus you done stole that guitar line from "Jessie's Girl," which YOU YOURSELF WROTE! Just because you can does NOT mean you should. And for the record, Victoria's secret is this: a.) those bras will never look as good on you as they do on Miranda Kerr, and, b.) they fall apart if you throw them in the dryer.

+ Listen here. Or, do yourself a favor and don't.