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Welcome back from the long weekend of infinite awards shows! Now BACK TO OUR REGULAR SCHEDULED Internet diversions!

1.) If you are anything like me, you watched the Golden Globes with your fingers crossed, praying for outrageous celeb reactions that could be made into hilarious animated GIFs. Famous people, you did NOT disappoint. (Jezebel)

2.) Speaking of the Globes, was I the only person to notice that Jake Gyllenhaal brought as his date Rilo Kiley frontwoman and girl-crush the world over Jenny Lewis? Doesn't she have a boyfriend? Just friends? Friends with benefits? "Sex friends"? Is Jake the male Winona? Discuss! (On The Red Carpet)

3.) BREAKING: Tiny Baby Animals Are So Tiny! (Buzzfeed)

4.) We've already established that the No. 1 way to improve your band's music video is by adding KITTEHS. Best Coast, we salute you. (ICanHasCheezburger)

5.) Gwen Stefani is the new spokeslady for L'Oreal. Perhaps you've already seen the TV spot. Don't get me wrong, Mrs. Rossdale looks FIERCE. But does she "talk words weird"? Like, at one point I think she says "rabbit"? (Idolator)

6.) Of all the James Lipton impressions out there, Will Ferrell's is the clear favorite. But mad props to Cee Lo Green for his epic self-on-self interview, complete with Eddie Murphy-style special fx makeup. (Aol.)

7.) Learning new languages is hard. Luckily, Deena Nicole Cortese, the newest "Jersey Shore" cast member, has published a dictionary explaining whatever foreign dialect that is she's speaking. (deenanicole.com)

8.) Hey, how have you been sleeping lately? Pretty good, you say? This video of a Filipino game show contestant lip-synching "I Will Always Love You" will change that. Forever. (YouTube)

9.) You know what talent won't win you the Miss America title? Ventriloquism. #themoreyouknow (Urlesque)

10.) And to end on a cautionary note, this is what happens When Parents Text. (whenparentstext.com)

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Stereogum recently described Death Cab frontman Ben Gibbard as "the indie-rock WALL-E," which we're assuming refers to both his overall cuteness and his ability to churn out lilting hits with machine-like precision. And he's done it again with "Cath," the latest penetrating lyrical snapshot off DCFC's chart-topping new album, Narrow Stairs, which features a teary-eyed Lucas Haas and the most unenthusiastic bride we've seen since Darla Conger's cringe-tastic stint on Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?.

So what's the point? According to Ben, the idea was "to create this character that's going through the motions, not really sure of why they're necessarily doing it." Like the broken bride in Rilo Kiley's "Silver Lining," video, mission depressingly accomplished.

+ Get more Death Cab for Cutie: check out their Artist of the Week videos, which include their awkward attempt at physical fitness, and read their exclusive tour blogs.

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For a second there, we were almost overly concerned that this might be a photo of Winona Ryder "stealing" kisses (har) from what looked from behind like John Krasinski. So we were way less devo to discover that that's not "Jim" but actually Blake Sennett of Rilo Kiley and The Elected, which is a definite relief (for us, at least) and a logical progression after you've dated Bright Eyes. Oh, and according to people in Ireland, Winona and Blake are not engaged.

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(Photo credits: PageSix.com)

Watch Blake wax poetic about Blackberrys (which we'd hide from 'Noni, since things tend to "get lost" around her) in this clip from Rilo Kiley's Artist of the Week videos.

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Aw. Looky how cute Pashlee were on New Year's Eve at Miami's Shore Club. Loves the dress, loves the... WAIT. WHUUUT? Check out her ring!

But despite the loop of diamonds encircling her wedding finger, Ashlee swears she's not getting hitched. Yet.

+ More pix of Pashlee joined at the tongue here.

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Please, don't anyone tell Silversun Pickups that it's almost 2007. We want the L.A. (Specifically Silver Lake -- also home to MTV Artist Of The Week alum Rilo Kiley) foursome to keep making dreamy, fuzzy, unfussy indie pop-rock like it’s gonna be 1993 forever.

Like The Pixies, Breeders, Smashing Pumpkins (pre Zwan, of course) and My Bloody Valentine before them, Silversun Pickups blend boy-girl harmonies, determined guitars and the occasional somber strings into that rarest form of earnest, honest and pure alt-pop – the type that lacks pretentious pomp and unnecessary perk or pep.

Their first full-length album Carnavas staked out impressive footholds on the Billboard Top Independent Albums and Top Heatseekers charts. Not bad for a band that may've never existed if founding members Brian Aubert and Nikki Monninger hadn't randomly met on an airplane. And if we had a car – or fittingly, an old VW van retrofitted with a CD player or just one of those iPod lighter adapters – we'd pop it in and drive up the 101 'til we ran out of gas, because it's quite possibly one of the best "driving and thinking" albums since Whiskeytown's Pneumonia… But right now we’ve got a party to go to, and so do you.

Check out two of Silversun Pickups' MTV Artist Of The Week on-air sleepover spots, which include puppies, party pranks and poolside performances. And a cookie shrine to Jared Leto. You can see their spots all week on MTV, and you can watch them all here.

Of course, tell us why you love sspu, and remember: don't fall asleep first.

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Rilo Kiley’s song “The Moneymaker,” is about porn. And much of their new album, Under The Blacklight is about s-e-x… play for pay, underage Internet trysts and picking up strangers in bars -- perhaps unsurprising for an L.A. band known for cleverly detailing the despair of the darker side of Tinseltown. But the album -- the band’s fourth album and first major-label release -- is anything but your average candy-coated pseudo-sexy pop romp. And it’s not your average Rilo Kiley album either. It delivers less of what some fans may’ve expected and more of what they didn’t. Read more...

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