+ Taylor Swift denies "creative" reports that she is carrying her ex-boyfriend Joe Jonas' secret lovechild. "I read a very creative rumor this morning saying I'm pregnant, which is the most IMPOSSIBLE thing on the planet. Take my word for it. Impossible." (MySpace Celebrity)

+ Meanwhile, Swift confirms she was dumped via celly (Um, really??) but swears she's not giving up on love just yet. "When I find that person that is right for me," Swift told talk show host Ellen Degeneres, "I'm not even going to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18." Oh, SNAP! (Usmagazine.com)

+ Beyonce blew off a big promotional tour to stay home and watch the election results! And apparently, it was TOTALLY worth it. "I fell asleep crying and smiling at the same time," she said, "[and] woke up with mascara running and a smile on my face." (MTV News)

+ According to Miley Cyrus' BFF, the Hannah Montana star and her boyfriend might be planning a special collabo. Of the entertainment variety, okay? (E! Online)

+ Turns out, Nicole Scherzinger is a total pussycat in real life. At least, she is when it comes to luuuuurve. (Scandalist)

+ Ryan Seacrest swears Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake will be hopping on stage with Madonna when her Sticky & Sweet tour hits L.A.! (MTV News)

+ One Broadway producer hopes to create AN ENTIRE MUSICAL out of the classic Michael Jackson song, "Thriller." Which is weird cause the song is only, like 45 minutes long. (Broadway World)

(Credit: Rolling Stone Magazine)

+ A new, analogy-filled cover story describes maybe-exes Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus as the "Charles and Di" of Magic Kingdom, and says "middle child Joe [looks like] a prettier version of the actor Peter Gallagher." We wholeheartedly agree on both counts. (Rolling Stone)

+ Bow Wow describes the inherent difficulties he faced in an upcoming Entourage cameo. "I'm playing a character named Charlie who is an up-and-coming comedian," says Bow Wow, "which is different for me, because I'm not really a comedian." True dat. (MTV)

+ Nas' new album, "Untitled," bumps Lil Wayne's "Tha Carter III" out of the top-spot on the Billboard 200 chart. The upside of being demoted to #2? Lil Wayne will finally have time to explain that whole "I'm a venereal disease" metaphor. (Billboard)

+ Dr. Dre's Detox is a lot like Rev. Run's Boneless Chicken Dinner: Currently, it's all talk. (Idolator)

+ A country cover of Green Day? Thanks, but no thanks. (Stereogum)

+ Ryan Seacrest is disproportionately excited about Chris Cornell's new song. (Best Week Ever)

+ Ben Folds reveals what was going through his mind after his divorce: "I came out of the courthouse, kissed the ground, and walked straight into the studio." (Webster is my Bitch)

+ As one (female) interviewer quickly discovers, R&B singer Lloyd is "a pretty smooth talker." (Neon Limelight)

+ Amy Winehouse's beehive, tattoos and skintight mini-dress will live on forever...thanks to the enterprising folks over at Madame Tussaud's. (People)

Lily Allen left a London nightclub in a bag, the Daily Mail reports. Not "half in the bag," as in drunk, but literally in a large plastic bag carried by friends. They apparently lugged her down Oxford Street and into a car. Visa problems may be the least of her worries.

UPDATE: MTV News is reporting that Lily has canceled her tour dates and her previously announced VMA appearance.

In hip-hop, Jay-Z is the cash king, according to Forbes. His estimated $34 million in 2006 earnings from various ventures put him ahead of 50 Cent ($32 million), Diddy ($28 million), Timbaland ($21 million) and Dr. Dre ($20 million), who with Jigga make up the top 5. Look for him to flex those money making muscles at the MTV VMAs on September 9, as he's up for the Quadruple Threat of the Year award. (Jay-Z photo by Photo by Vince Bucci/Getty Images)

Plus Uncle Kracker, Ryan Seacrest and OJ Simpson (?!) after the jump. Read more...