MTV Buzzworthy Blog › Spencer Pratt

(Credit: WireImage)

In "Is it 2012 yet?" news, Spencer Pratt has released a rap song and Heidi Montag has released a pop song. Spencer's "Ain't No Thang (But A Chicken Wing)" (working title) and Heidi's "Heartbeat" (respectively) just hit the web, and I just went back under my covers. Not today, internet. Not today.

We've been down this road with Spencer Pratt before and thankfully, nothing really came to fruition last time. But for "Ain't No Thang," Spencer supposedly worked with real-life producer TreBeatz, who's worked with real-life rappers Nas, The Dream and Busta Rhymes. We're not sure what kind of bribery is taking place here, but whatever it is, a real song came out of it. As for Heidi Montag's "Heartbeat," it's your basic Heidi Montag club jam -- overproduced, kinda fun and dance-y.

Basically, this whole situation can be summed up nicely with Buzzworthy's favorite GIF of all time -- Over It Whitney Houston:

+ Click here to feel instantaneous regret hear Spencer Pratt's song "Ain't No Thang (But A Chicken Wing)" and Heidi Montag's "Heartbeat." If you must listen, listen in the dark when no one is around. It will be like it never happened.

Tags Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt

You see that guy on the right? That's you (well, Charles Dickens as you) without the internet. Just growing a beard and thinking about life and not tweeting it. Why are you so bearded and contemplative and not updating your status or watching Spencer and Heidi montages set to Coldplay songs? Because Prince, shown on the left wearing a tunic with his likeness, said the internet is "completely over."

The Purple One told "The Mirror" that the internet is bad for him because it doesn't give him an advance on his recordings, and it's bad for you because "All these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers, and that can't be good for you."

OK, so seeing as how this will be my last blog post ever, I figured I'd better map out what you, me and everyone we know will be doing with ourselves from now on.

Here are 10 things that will replace the internet now that Prince says the net is over.

1.) Collecting Stamps: Now that you're back to mailing letters, you might as well make a hobby out of collecting these things.

2.) Peppermint Starlight Mints: These things are delicious. You can spend eight hours a day eating them. You might as well. There won't be an internet.

3.) Justin Bieber's Hair: We can all slowly watch it grow. But sadly, we'll have nowhere to tweet about it. (DAMN YOU, PRINCE! DAMN YOU!)

4.) Reruns of "Two Guys, A Girl And A Pizza Place": Without the internet, you'll have plenty of time to ponder why Ryan Reynolds' late-'90s show went off the air in the first place.

5.) Going Outside: Whatever.

6.) Going To A Show Featuring A Band You've Never Heard Of, Falling For Them And Buying Their Music From Their Merch Table: It's like streaming music. But louder.

7.) Pizza: Hard to mess this up.

8.) Napping Cats: Specifically, watching them and then, when that becomes too strenuous, joining them in slumber.

9.) Writing Down Your Thoughts On Paper, Xeroxing Them And Handing Them Out To Friends And Strangers. Whatever happened to 'zines anyway? Those were so adorable!

10.) Learning The Proper Use Of English Again: WTF?!

OK. Now go watch MGMT's "Kids" video. While you still have a place to watch weird videos.

Tags Coldplay, Heidi Montag, justin bieber, Lists, Prince, Spencer Pratt, video

As I'm sure we are all totally aware, Spencer Pratt fancies himself something of a rapper, going by the name Big White, claiming to be the white Jay-Z and challenging Asher Roth to a battle.

Now, it would seem a little of Spencer's talk-a-big-game act has rubbed off on his wife, Hills alumnus and burgeoning pop singer, Heidi Montag.

In a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly, Montag claims her debut album Superficial can go toe-to-toe with Michael Jackson's record-breaking, chart-torching 1982 juggernaut, Thriller.

After noting Thriller as an influence on her dance-pop sound, Montag is asked by EW if she thinks Superficial stands up to Thriller, as an album. She responds, "I definitely do. I think people might not see it now, because it's my first album coming out. But I've spent as much time-maybe more, even-than Thriller."

For as insane as that might sound, it's strangely endearing to hear someone talk about the aesthetic value of what they're doing being tied to the amount of time they spent making it. And, for that matter, the money they spent on it (Heidi claims to have gone broke, spending 2 million dollars on Superficial's production).

Only you and time can be the judge. Is Superficial as good as Thriller (yes, I'm asking)? It's came out yesterday, so report back with your findings!

Tags Heidi Montag, Michael Jackson, Spencer Pratt, The Hills

It's pretty safe to say most of the world is Team Taylor after Kanye West flipped out on America's Princess at the 2009 VMAs. Here's what celebrities are saying on Twitter about Kanye's Taylor Swift VMA freakout.

Hayley Williams: Taylor swift, y'all. #teamTaylor

Katy Perry: F++K U KANYE. IT'S LIKE U STEPPED 0N A KITTEN.

Lauren Conrad: i heart Taylor Swift! Congrats! Well deserved

Perez Hilton: @TaylorSwift13 Love you!

Kelly Pickler: Tator Tot, you handled yourself with Grace. Kanye, go grow some f-ing balls bitch! don't mess w/my lil sis!!

Pink: Beyonce is a classy lady.I feel for her, too.Its not her fault at all, and her and taylor did their thing. And douche bag got kicked out. HA

Spencer Pratt: Let's be very clear King Spencer would never do anything like what Kayne just did to a sweet soul like Taylor!

Drake's Knee! Bey was real classy for doin that for Taylor Swift / next time Kanye wanna shoot my vid eat a d**k

McFly's Tom Fletcher: Taylor Swift should have kicked him in the nuts! What an eventful VMA's.

Evan Taubenfeld: I feel bad for Taylor. She didn't deserve that. but ironically I also love kanye & his stupid fish sticks

Tags 2009 MTV VMAs, Kanye West, Katy Perry, Kelly Pickler, Perez Hilton, Spencer Pratt, Taylor Swift

+ Ricky Martin (remember him) kind of came out. (Popnography)

+ Open mouth, insert foot:  Joe Jonas accidentally blabbed on Larry King Live that his little brother Nick Jonas was indeed dating Miley Cyrus again. LOVE IT! (US Magazine)

+ Justin Timberlake refuses to play golf with girlfriend Jessica Biel because she kicks his ass everytime. (PopCrunch)

+ Here's a shocker: Lauren Conrad just dished on The View that Spencer Pratt's apology on the last episode of The Hills was... GASP! STAGED! (Ryan Seacrest)

+ Um, a dead body was found during the clean-up after this year's Bonnaroo festival? So creepy! (NME)

+ Keyshia Cole pulled out all the stops on the L.A. leg of her current U.S. tour.  Friends like Keri Hilson, Nas, and Diddy were all in attendance to help the singer put on a star-studded show. Wish we could have gone! (Rap-Up)

Tags Bonnaroo, Diddy, Jessica Biel, Joe Jonas, Jonas Brothers, Justin Timberlake, Keri Hilson, Keyshia Cole, Lauren Conrad, Miley Cyrus, Nas, Nick Jonas, Ricky Martin, Spencer Pratt

(Credit: Andy Ryan)

Did you see The Hills last night? Holy ship. Is there a better show? I know this is neither the time nor the place, but I'm pretty sure Spencer Pratt is the most interesting person who has ever been alive. No offense, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, but homeboy went to therapy and became a different person. A sensitive person who is also a rapper. WHAT THE HELL?

Not only that, but as a barely-recovering Laguna Beach junkie, I am SO psyched for the return of Kristin Cavallari. Did you see her go straight for Justin Bobby?? What I wouldn't give to go to bed tonight and wake up in next year so all of my unanswered Hills questions would be answered already!

But enough about my "problem." Aside from Spencer's emergence from his cocoon of cruelty as a gentle butterfly, last night's big story was Lauren Conrad's departure. What was originally her spin-off, officially entered a new life of its own as she rode away from K-Cav and the Speidi extravaganza alone.

To mark the beginning of a whole new era, Hills producers brought in a whole new voice. They very wisely landed on young buck Tamar Kaprelian, whose fresh and honest single "New Day" has enough emotion in every note to knock the grass off The Hills. Look out, "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield! It's a new day.

In the great tradition of reality TV, I'm gonna let Tamar Kaprelian introduce herself. Here are a couple highlights from her hand-written bio:

I am 22. Songwriting is the most sacred thing in my life. Classic Disney films influenced me as a kid, but my true love of music came about when I discovered Billy Joel and Paul McCartney. In love I fell.

My music chronicles my life, my relationships, my basket-case-ness, and my utter determination and drive to create an album that is real and true to me both personally and artistically.

I hope you enjoy my little musical offerings and songs.

Peace & love.

What a sweetheart, eh? Plays a mean piano, too. Keep an eye out for Tamar Kaprelian and catch her first single "New Day" in The Hills' Season 5 finale, starting tonight!

+ TONS More Brilliant Hills Coverage On Remote Control Blog

Tags Billy Joel, Justin Bobby, Kristin Cavallari, Lauren Conrad, Natasha Bedingfield, Paul McCartney, Spencer Pratt, Tamar Kaprelian, The Buzz On, The Hills

+ How on earth anyone takes Spencer Pratt and his so-called burgeoning rap career seriously is beyond us. Still, he's been getting interviewed by the likes of Complex and XXL. Really? WTF?? (The Tripwire)

+ Rihanna makes an appearance in Kanye West's new video "Paranoid." Word of advice: Less 'Ye, more Ri. KAY?? (JustJared)

+ This just in: Buzz-crush Honor Society has announced their first-ever headlining tour! (Buzzworthy)

+ Because we all give a s*** what Chris Brown is doing these days, he kindly let us know via YouTube that his new record is coming out soon. Oh. And he ain't a monster. (MTV News)

+ Um. Ok. This month's Rolling Stone will feature a verrrrrrrrrry Carol Kane-esque Lady Gaga. The bitch is everywhere!!! (Rolling Stone)

+ Here's Pitbull beating the ever-living s*** out of a poor concert-goer. Way to be. (Holy Moly!)

+ HA! Seems like #unfollowdiddy is the hottest trend on Twitter right now. Go figure. (Twitter)

Tags Chris Brown, Diddy, Honor Society, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, Pitbull, Rihanna, Spencer Pratt, Twitter

+ Another Wednesday, another Caps Lock-laden rant from Kanye West. This time, it's about the fake Twitter accounts bearing his name. (KanyeUniverseCity)

+ And here's something else for you to get pissed at, Kanye. Spencer Pratt is the self-proclaimed "future of rap." (Bossip)

+ Creeepezzan stallion Marilyn Manson and his latest gal pal were seen "tool"ing around Hollywood yesterday. Doesn't he bear a striking resemblance to that chubby guy Brandon Davis that a certain blogger is always making fun of? (JustJared)

+ Calling all Adam Lambert fans: RUN! DON'T WALK! A lock of his hair is now up for grabs. Speaking of American Idol, do you think Simon's "call to action" for Little Lam was over the top/baiting? (eBay)

+ And this is why we're GOO GOO for GaGa. (PopCrunch)

+ Oh -- and here's Lady GaGa's amazing performance of "Poker Face" on the Ellen show today. Check out each pose at the start of the vid. LOVE. it. (Towleroad)

Tags Adam Lambert, American Idol, Brandon Davis, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, Marilyn Manson, Perez Hilton, Simon Cowell, Spencer Pratt, Twitter

+ Seemed like a case of deja vu when Madonna showed up at last night's Costume Institute Gala at The Met looking a hot mess (just like that time she looked like Little Bo Peep on crack -- see above). Her only saving grace this time around was that she had arm candy Jesus Luz with her.  <LICK!> (D Listed)

+ Rihanna, on the other hand, looked fuggin GORGEOUS, even in men's clothing. (MTV News)

+ Maybe if she didn't oversing EVERY. SINGLE. NOTE. then Jennifer Hudson wouldn't be forced to cancel dates on her tour due to throat-related issues. Whatevs. Still LOVE that girl. (Singersroom)

+ Mom's pride and joy Heidi Montag will be posing topless for Playboy as a wedding gift to her husband Spencer Pratt. Personally, I'd have preferred a nice bottle of champers, but that's just me. (Pop On The Pop)

+ In other pertinent world news, Lindsay Lohan is once again defending her weight. (US Magazine)

+ I just CAN'T with these celebrities and their fragrances. Now Nelly??  REALLY?? (Bossip)

Tags Heidi Montag, Jennifer-Hudson, Lindsay Lohan, Madonna, Nelly, Rihanna, Spencer Pratt

+ Sparring Hills stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt managed to pull off a whole wedding this weekend without a single sucker punch being thrown. And the priest didn't melt! Even Heidi's mom, who recently tried to reunite her daughter with an ex, gushed that they were the perfect couple. Ha. What a liar. (Remote Control)

+ AP cover models Jack Barakat, Alex Gaskarth, Zack Merrick and Rian Dawson proudly announce the release of All Time Low's brand-new album, "Nothing Personal," and follow it up with a string of penis jokes. (NothingPersonal.com)

+ In a vain attempt to keep Spencer and Heidi's egos in check, Salma Hayek married her billionaire baby daddy Francois-Henry Pinault at the Venice Opera House Saturday. The bride joined guests Bono, Damien Rice, Woody Harrelson and Charlize Theron in an upbeat rendition of "Stand By Me" at the very musical reception. In related news, the phrase "billionaire baby daddy" is officially being grossly overused. (People)

+ Taylor Lautner, I smell a serious grounding in your future! The 17-year-old Twilight star, whose parents have forbidden him from dating until the absurd old age of 28, is rumored to be sneaking around Vancouver with Selena Gomez between shoots for Twilight: New Moon and Ramona And Beezus. Ya see, this is what happens when kids play the video games on the television and talk on the cell phone. (Perez Hilton)

+ Another Nick Jonas ex defended her own new romance against negative internet allegations. Between sightseeing and autograph sessions, Miley Cyrus Twittered away speculation that she'd dump Justin Gaston to get back with Nick, calling it a "stupidddd rumor."(Just Jared Jr.)

+ Romance was really in the air this weekend! Speidi and Salma tied the knot, Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus explored new relationships and studly High School Musical 3-star Zac Efron spent an enchanted afternoon at a Berlin beer garden with every pretty boy's dream date: Mommy! (Oh No They Didn't)

Tags All Time Low, Bono, Damien Rice, Heidi Montag, High School Musical 3, Jack Barakat, Justin Gaston, Miley Cyrus, Nick Jonas, Selena Gomez, Spencer Pratt, Taylor Lautner, The Hills, The Jonas Brothers, Twilight, Zac Efron