Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet? Why do caged birds sing? All eternal questions without answers (actually they all have perfectly good answers, but you see what I'm saying). At least one eternal question has been answered: Will *NSYNC ever get back together? Well, according to JC Chasez, the answer is, "no."

Now, given the ex-*SYNCers' various states of busy-ness, from "very" (Justin, JC) to somewhat (Joey, Lance) to not (Chris), this isn't that much of a shock. But still, it's pretty interesting to see the America's Best Dance Crew judge nail the coffin shut so decidedly. *NSYNC really is gone. No matter how much it tears up your heart, no matter how much you want them back, they're still saying, "bye, bye, bye."

Don't worry, we'll always have TRL: Watch *NSYNC perform "Tearin' Up My Heart" live on TRL in 1998.

Just prepare yourself, the Backstreet Boys go straight for the de rigueur vampire jugular with their latest comeback. (And has it really been two years since the last album? Backstreet! How I've missed you).

Considering "Straight Through My Heart," directed by Kai Regan (Panic! At the Disco's "New Perspective," Cobra Starship's "Good Girls Go Bad") is all about attacks of love and symbolic bleeding, how could Backstreet Boys not jump on the vampire bandwagon? (You had your shot Leona Lewis; "Bleeding Love" could've gone in a totally vampiric direction! I smell a remake!) Backstreet Boys also called upon producer RedOne (the magic behind Lady GaGa's "Just Dance" and Sean Kingston's "Fire Burning." And did I mention sexy vampires? Possible girl-on-girl sexy vampires? We assume we won't be seeing THAT in New Moon...

... Not to suggest Backstreet Boys is completely shedding its '90s boy band roots (a linchpin, if there ever was one, in a glorious era of TRL): The new album, This Is Us, features songwriting from Swedish mogul Max Martin, who wrote all-time classic "I Want It That Way" and Britney Spears' "Baby One More Time." In addition, the guys bust out unabashed boy band moves from right out the gate in their "Straight Through My Heart" video -- just like the old days! Hey, if you're going to be a boy band, be a damn boy band! And, equally as important, a vampire!

The subject of my girl Jessica Simpson is not the most cheery for me right now... That said, this vintage TRL video temporarily sent me to a happy place. First off, Jessica's outfit will put a smile on your face; I had to hit pause just to savor the image. I mean... just watch it. The glittery pink eye shadow, the crimped hair, the leather pants... what a difference nine years makes.

Yes, it was a simpler time, a happier time, when Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson were still together. While the duet of "Where You Are" from Jessica's 1999 debut, Sweet Kisses, showcases Jessica's fantastic voice (she also knows to turn her head before a belt, sparing Nick's eardrums), my happy moment was short-lived.

Why can't it just be like this again? Vanessa's gone; Tony's gone; John Mayer's gone (wait -- Mayer might not be gone; did you hear that rumor?), so couldn't Nick and Jessica offer each other the perfect comfort? So say her Tweets, Jessica's just sleeping with her mom and dogs and listening to Olivia Broadfield songs right now. Help her! Let the rumors of a reconciliation be true...

Watch the duet from the good ol' days below, intro-ed by a "lonely and untalented" Carson Daly.

It's been a seriously Jonas-packed week so far, no? In the past five days alone, the Jonas Brothers played the Houston Rodeo, released dates for their world tour with Jordin Sparks and Honor Society, got spoofed on South Park (like anyone who's worth noting), and announced that they're coming out with a line of Jonas-ified clothing for tweens (sorry, but I LOVE the scarves and hope they'll fit me). These dudes are like Verizon Wireless -- they never stop working for you. No wonder these Jonas fans skipped school AND miss Thanksgiving to see the Jonas Brothers at the taping of MTV's The Jonas Brothers Experience. See what else these diehard Jonas fans would do for their favorite brothers. And watch JB fan Julia relive her TRL glory.

And watch more Buzzworthy Jonas Brothers Fan Appreciation Week videos!
+ Day 1 -- Waking Up the Jonases (Again!)
+ Day 2 -- Jonas Brothers Played At Their School!
+ Day 3 -- It's MBSquared! (Again!)

Okay, remember how TRL ended? Okay, well yesterday I was downstairs in the MTV Studios yesterday waiting to ask Soulja Boy Tell 'Em your questions, and I noticed a sad, sad thing: the iconic, legendary TRL photo booth -- where famous butts of ballers like Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus and Fergie, *NSYNC, Usher, No Doubt, Tokio Hotel, Vanessa Hudgens, and even John McCain and, um, Poo Baby and the Scream mask guy once perched to have their photos taken -- is broken! Weep! That's a little piece of history right there... I'll keep you posted if I see it's back and up and running. Until then, check out these bazillion photos taken in the legendary booth.

Be honest with yourself, TRL loyalists! Some of you dreamed of a Carson Daly-Damien Fahey sandwich (I MEAN YOU WANTED TO SHARE A QUIZNO'S SUB WITH THEM! GOD!!!), and some of you HATERS dreamed of a Carson-Damien smackdown, didn't you? I certainly didn't. Carson didn't, but I KNOW some of you did. BUT, who does Carson think would win in a battle of the boy band VJs?

"I'm just a much bigger guy. I think I would destroy him, actually," Carson told Details' Know + Tell blog.

DEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS! Actually, they're not. Because I took them out of context. But see what else he told Know + Tell about beating up Damien, potentially kissing -- and potentially getting punched by -- Katy Perry, and why he used to wear nail polish during his TRL days.

After recovering from far too much sparkling errmmm... cider with a record-breaking TV binge, consisting mostly of Engaged & Underage, Ruby (I have no idea why), that crazy half-ton-a-thon on TLC that everyone I know got sucked into, and an overdose of Celebrity Rehab 2, I am now COMMITTED to sobriety: I've now been FREE from TV for like... 10 hours, I think? So far so good. I intend to fall off the wagon at approximately 10pm tonight when the new episode of The City airs. Oh Whitney. I just can't quit you...

So, speaking of sober, Pink's latest video (not to mention Rihanna's retreat into "Rehab" and Amy Winehouse's famous Heisman reaction to her treatment) had me thinking about sobriety songs (other than Alter Bridge's "Watch Over You"), which, in turn, triggered memories of Evanescence's 2006 single/ video, "Call Me When You're Sober," which went to #1 on TRL (R.I.P.!) and was famously written about Amy Lee's ex, Seether frontman Shaun Morgan.

And Evanescence, if you're reading this, as much as I love Paramore (oh yes I DID!), I totally miss you guys and want you to get back together soon (remember when we all shared a locker that year? that was so awesome when we all still got along), unless it means even more in-fighting of Guns N' Roses proportions. Amy, where's that solo album? Drop us a line, some new lyrics, anything soon! Or let's grab a decaf chai or something!

Anyway, which is the better bitter break-up video? Pink's "Sober," or Evanescence's "Call Me When You're Sober"?

I know, I know -- the end of the TRL era is pretty traumatizing, but perhaps this will help ease the blow -- an addition to the Buzzworthy family: Erica, who pledged her allegiance to Britney Spears years ago, and hasn't looked back since. She's written for the NY Observer, the NY Press, and is an expert celeb blogger. When she's not writing about all things buzzworthy, she can usually be found obsessively watching videos on mtvmusic.com, deconstructing episodes of The Hills or eating cupcakes (mostly eating cupcakes, actually). Check out her first post right here, and don't do something mean like try to sell her a pool pass when you know there's no pool at Buzzworthy High! Anyway, welcome, Erica!

+ OK, I know that we're all in devastation mode re: TRL, and I hear ya. The next few days are gonna be rough. However, I'm positive I have a solution that will help us all pick up the shattered pieces of our lives and move on dot org with grace and dignity: Justin Timberlake in a leotard; Srsly please tell me you watched Saturday Night Live. Our boy (well, mine ...) Justin Timberlake brought some hardcore funny as a male back-up dancer in Beyonce's "Single Ladies" music video, and then absolutely killed during a special appearance on Weekend Update. Trust me: if you watch nothing else on the Internet ever again, you must not miss Timberlake in his Danskins. (Buzzfeed)

+ Beyonce was pretty darn hilars herself on SNL AND she performed two songs off her new album, I Am... Sasha Fierce: "If I Were A Boy" and "Single Ladies (Put A Ring on It)." (Concrete Loop)

+ Oh no she di-int: Ashlee Simpson checked into the hospital on Saturday, leading us all to believe that baby Wentz had finally arrived. But, alas, bump watch '08 is back on after Ashlee checked out a short time later. (Life & Style)

+ Modern love is so adorbs: Kelly Osbourne and 18-year-old male model Luke Worrall apparently announced to the world that they were getting hitched ... via Luke's Facebook status. Upcoming plans for the wedding will be posted on their MySpace pages, with honeymoon scoop going straight to their Twitter feeds. Ahhh, love 2.0! (Evil Beet)

+ Dear Everyone: pls just leave Miley Cyrus alone already; i.e. stop hacking into all her stuff! Kthxz0rzbye!!!1! (MTV News)

+ Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey plan to share in a Christmas tradition that has nothing to do with sugarplums OR mistletoe; apparently in the Cannon household, it's all about the bikinis (duh). Mariah and all her besties like to get into their suits, roll around in the snow and finish off the night in the hot tub. Gawd bless us ... everyone. (The Superficial)

+ Cute Overload much? The P.S. 22 Children's Choir in NYC does a fab cover of Tori Amos' "1,000 Oceans." Kids sing the darndest things! (Perez Hilton)

+ Oh yeah ... almost forgot: Did you guys hear that TRL's over? 3:30's never gonna be the same again.

Beyonce may have put a ring on it as she waved bye, bye, bye to a pop culture phenomenon on tonight's Total Finale Live farewell to TRL, but nothing -- not even a diamond -- is forever.

TRL is officially dunzo, but you've still got hours of live performances, behind-the-scenes photos, interviews, and more to relive.

So you go do that.

Goodnight, Taylor Swift! I didn't get to sign your yearbook, but hopefully we'll have a class together next year.

Thnks fr th Mmrs, Fall Out Boy -- Sisky, you were the best fake-Pete ever.

Goodnight, Kid Rock. You make cigars seem sort-of cool, even if they smell like rotten old man.

Goodnight, Nelly. Thank you for finally losing the Band-Aid.

Good night, Miley Cyrus in the photo booth. Be careful what you do with those photos, 'kay?

Goodnight, William Beckett's hair and Andy Hurley's F+++ City stickers and hoodies, which I constantly have to get digitally blurred out of photos and videos before I can post them.

Goodnight, Quddus. You've aged like the finest of wines. I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk.

Goodnight, people still drinking while I soberly, sorely blog at 4:38am.

Goodnight, my bed. I wish I were in you!

Goodnight, Jesse Camp, wherever you're sleeping tonight, if you sleep, if you're not actually an 8th Street vampire or something.

Goodnight, "Baby One More Time." Hearing you always feels like the very first time, every single time.

Goodnight, Kevin Jonas, even though you weren't there.

And don't forget -- BUZZWORTHY PLAYS VIDEOS!

He wasn't using it at the time, so Fall Out Boy and I comandeered Carson Daly's dressing room backstage at Total Finale Live.

Watch Patrick Stump, Joe Trohman, Andy Hurley, and "Pete Wentz" (who mysteriously grew a few inches and started to embody a strange Wes Borland look), talk Tool, Britney Spears, Stephen Colbert, opening up a Times Square Angels & Kings offshoot, and, most importantly, *NSYNC.

Then see The Academy Is...'s Sisky lob the love back to Fall Out Boy and Pete and Ashlee.